


The Angel

by thosewhowearplaid



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcoholic Dean, Angry Drunk, Assassination Plot(s), Betrayal, Demon Dean, M/M, Mark of Cain, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-05-07
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:29:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosewhowearplaid/pseuds/thosewhowearplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean had been acting differently recently, and it wasn't just because of the Mark of Cain.<br/>He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces when Cas admitted to having sex with April. Obviously, Cas didn't notice it, no one did. Not until it was too late, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if I don't update regularly, or if you don't like it.

Those five words that haunted Dean were finally starting to get too much for him.  _"You had sex with April?"_

Dean didn't know what to do any more, especially now that he had the Mark of Cain, he was angrier and _hornier_. He could feel himself falling apart each day, he could feel his heart shattering each time his eyes fell onto The Angel. But of course, Cas didn't know, no one knew. Dean was so good at hiding his feelings that he never had to worry about them until he was laying in bed struggling to sleep, trying to hide away from the world. 

It wasn't until himself, Sam and Bobby were sitting in a motel room awaiting news on a case that he finally cracked. 

* * *

 

"Sam, throw us that, will you?" Dean asked, sitting on his bed, pointing towards the full whiskey bottle on the table next to Sam.

Sam peeled his eyes away from his laptop screen and sighed, he picked up the bottle and walked over to Dean, handing it to him.

"Thanks." Dean smiled at his younger brother and took the bottle from his hands. 

Sam knew it was a bad idea giving him the alcohol, especially considering it was the second bottle of whiskey he had drank that day. He walked back over to the table near the window and sat back down, he could feel his pulse quicken as he watched his brother unscrew the bottle and swallow a gulp of the yellowish liquid. "Slow down." Sam laughed, trying to hide his worry.

Dean took the bottle away from his lips and stared deep into his brothers eyes, "What?" 

"I'm just saying, you might wanna slow down." Sam shrugged. 

Dean sighed and placed the bottle on the floor next to another empty bottle, "Where's Bobby?" 

"He went out when you were asleep, he'll be back soon." Sam replied. 

But before Dean could reply, his phone started to ring. He leant back towards the bedside cabinet and grabbed his phone, he looked at the caller ID and saw it was Cas. He cleared his throat and tried to steady his pulse before answering the phone.

"Hey." Dean said, carefully trying not to let his nervousness show. 

"Hello, Dean." Cas replied with a deep voice.

"What's up?" Dean asked, sitting back up. 

"What's protection?" Cas asked, slightly embarrassed. 

"Huh?" Dean's heart was beating faster now. 

"I got asked to buy protection, what is it?" He asked again. 

Dean's voice was trapped in his throat as he felt bile rise up, "Are you with a certain person, Cas?" Dean asked finally, trying his hardest to steady his voice. 

"Well, yes, a woman." Cas replied steadily. 

That was it. That was the exact moment he wished he was dead. That was the moment his heart broke and fell into his stomach. That was the moment he let his emotions get the best of him. 

"I'm sorry, Cas. I've gotta go." Dean spat out after a few seconds of silence. 

Before Cas was able to answer, Dean threw his phone at the wall, forcing Sam's attention. "What the hell?" Sam asked loudly, as he jumped up. 

Dean grabbed the nearly full whiskey bottle off the floor and swallowed nearly a quarter of it in one gulp. His vision was starting to blur and his throat was burning, but that wasn't stopping him. He took a breath before taking another big gulp.

"Dean, stop!" Sam raised his voice, as he walked slowly towards his older brother. 

Dean ripped the bottle from his lips and stood up, "Why, so I don't miss someone else having sex with anyone?" 

"What?" Sam asked confused. 

Dean rolled his eyes aggressively and took another gulp of the whiskey, ignoring his brother's worried glare. Sam didn't know what had happened to make him switch so quickly, he had been on his laptop minding his own business. It took him a minute, but he finally remembered that Dean had just gotten a call.

"Who rang you?" Sam asked, looking towards Dean's smashed phone on the floor. 

"What does it matter?" Dean asked quietly, sitting back down on the bed, drinking more. 

Sam was about to reply but his ringing phone interrupted him. Dean's head whipped up in worry and pain as he watched Sam take his phone out of his pocket and answer it. 

"Hello?" He asked. 

"Hello, Sam." Cas asked. 

"Oh hey, Cas. Sorry, this isn't the best ti-" He started before being interrupted.

"-What's protection?" Cas asked quickly. 

"What?" Sam asked, shocked. 

"Dean had nearly the same reaction." Cas said. 

Sam didn't reply, instead his eyes widened in realisation and he looked at his brother, who now had his head in his hands. 

"Condoms, Cas." Sam said quietly and quickly, before ending the call and shoving his phone into his pocket. 

He edged towards his brother and took the whiskey bottle out of his hands, he slowly raised it to his own lips and took a sip. "Jesus." He said quietly, as he looked at his brother. 

Dean knew what Sam now knew and anger rose back up in him, he quickly stood up and grabbed the bottle back. "I don't love him." He said angrily. 

"I never said you did." Sam said softly. 

"Then stop looking at me like that!" Dean shouted, referring to Sam's eyes full of concern and the slight smile tugging at his lips. 

"Why don't you just tell him, Dean?" Sam asked softly. 

"There's nothing to tell him, damn it!" Dean shouted before throwing the now empty bottle at the wall behind Sam. 

The glass exploded into a hundred little parts, spreading itself along the floor. Sam was shocked to see his brother react like that, especially over someone who he cared for. Sam was more nervous now, he secretly wished Bobby would just come barging in through the door at that second to save him - save both of them. Fortunately, that's exactly what happened. 

Bobby ran into their room, a terrified look on his face and knife in hand. Once he saw it was just them two, he put the knife into his pocket and closed the door behind him. "What the hell is going on?" He shouted, looking towards the smashed bottle and then the scared look on Sam's face.

Sam backed away from Dean as he heard a quiet growl emerge from his throat,  Sam looked towards Bobby to help, but neither knew what was going on. 

"Dean?" Sam asked nervously. 

Dean's breathing and heart rate quickened. 

"Dean?" Sam asked again. 

Dean's head was becoming very foggy, and he could hardly concentrate. There was one thing on his mind, though, he needed to get out of there before he did something he'd regret. So, that's what he did. He quickly picked up his coat and pushed past Sam and Bobby as he walked out of the door. Once he was in the fresh air, his mind started to empty but he carried on walking until he reached his car, he got in and drove. 

Inside the motel room, Sam and Bobby stood still, completely bewildered. Neither knew what to do, or to say. Eventually, Bobby's frustration became too much for him. 

"What the hell did you two idjits do?" He asked - well, shouted. 

Sam jumped in shock at the sudden outburst, "Nothing." He replied quickly. 

"Tell me, boy, now." He ordered. 

"Let me pick this up first," Sam said with a sigh, walking over to the broken glass. 

Bobby squinted his eyes in annoyance but nodded as Sam cleaned the glass up. 

* * *

 

"The Angel?" Bobby asked loudly, very confused. 

Sam nodded, "It makes sense." 

Bobby scoffed and leant back in his chair. 

"You're not, you know...?" Sam asked, suddenly aware of the situation. 

"What? Oh, no. That boy can love who he wants." Bobby said quickly.

Sam sighed in relief and and looked at the cut on his finger he got from cleaning up the glass. "Do you think he'll be back soon?" 

"Wouldn't think so." Bobby replied.

Sam nodded and sighed. 

Dean had stormed out 2 hours ago, and had left no message on either of their phones. Both were extremely worried, he was still very drunk and he was driving, but he was also clearly very upset. Nothing good happens when someone is _very_ pissed and heartbroken.  

At that moment, there was a soft knock at the door. Both men jumped up in glee and sighed in relief. Sam walked over towards to the door and pulled it open, expecting to see a still-drunk Dean, however, what he saw was a very confused looking angel. 

"What is going on?" Asked the man in the trench coat standing before Sam. 

Sam stood staring at Cas, not knowing what to do or what to say. Bobby was still sitting at the table, and after he noticed Sam not moving from the doorway, he stood up and walked over to see what was going on. 

"Sam, what is it - Cas?" He asked, shocked. 

"Hello, Bobby." Cas said, peering over Sam's shoulder. 

"Right, well, let him in, boy." Bobby stammered, trying not to give anything away.

"Right, sorry." Sam said, bringing himself out of his thoughts, as he opened the door wider, letting Cas into the room. 

Cas nodded in thanks and walked over to the bed closest to the door, Dean's bed. He smiled subtly as Dean's scent filled his senses. He was distracted from his thoughts once he heard Sam close the door and him and Bobby walk back over to the table near the window, awkwardly.

"What's happened?" Cas asked, noticing the shift in mood. 

"Nothing." Sam replied, too quickly. 

Bobby shot a glaring look at the young Winchester, he knew Sam was terrible at keeping secrets sometimes, but this was just pathetic. 

"Sam," Cas warned. 

Sam looked towards Bobby for help, but Bobby just stared right back at him. Unfortunately for them, at that moment they heard a key twist in the lock of the door. Sam's heart stopped for a brief second, and all turned to the door expectantly. They heard the key rattle in the lock for a minute, before a voice, "Shit." They then heard the key fall to the ground as someone groaned.  Eventually, the door was unlocked and in came a _very_ , _very_  drunk Dean. Dean didn't notice Cas at first, he looked towards his brother first and smiled a grin that told Sam all he needed to know. 

"How many tonight?" Sam said with a sigh. 

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sammy." Dean said with a grin, as he threw his keys onto the table next to Sam. 

Dean turned around from his brother before Sam could reply and looked towards his bed, he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at The Angel sitting on his bed. His pulse and breathing quickened as they stared at each other, neither broke it, neither knew what to say. Eventually, Sam was the one who broke the awkward, yet intense stares as he angrily stood up and cleared his throat, grabbing everyone's attention, apart from Dean's. 

"Dean." Sam said angrily. 

Dean still did not turn away from Cas, who was growing more and more confused. 

"Dean!" Sam raised his voice, as he tugged on his older brother's shoulder, dragging him around to face him. 

"What?" Dean asked loudly. 

"How many?" Sam asked, a hint of pain in his eyes. 

"How many what?" Dean asked, dreading the reply. Dean knew what Sam was talking about, of course he did, but he just didn't want him to say it out aloud, he didn't want Cas to hear. 

"How many did you kill?" Sam asked, lowering his tone to almost a whisper. 

At this point, Bobby and Cas looked alarmingly at each other before whipping their heads back to Dean. "What on God's earth are you talking about?" Bobby asked, loudly. 

"Demons, Bobby." Sam sighed. 

"What do you mean, _Demons_?" Bobby asked, getting more irritated. 

Dean wasn't replying, he was instead staring at a grease stain on the table. And Cas was staring at him. 

"Recently when Dean has too much to drink, he sometimes goes out, hunting." Sam said sadly. 

Dean could tell by Sam's tone how much he worried him, he didn't want to cause that much stress and worry for his younger brother, for Sammy. But Dean knew that he had to blow off all the steam that was building up inside him, he had to or it would just explode out of him when he didn't want to. 

"Dammit, boy!" Bobby shouted, marching towards Dean and slapping him behind the ear. 

Dean grunted in pain before rubbing where Bobby hit, he stared at the man in anger before taking a deep breath and swallowing the anger. 

"What were you thinking?" Bobby shouted. 

"I don't know, Bobby!" Dean said loudly, trying his hardest not to lose his temper. 

"Of course you do!" Bobby shouted again. 

Finally, Dean forgot Cas was in the room, he ignored Sam's silent pleas and focused on the man in the room who asked the question, "Because I don't want to feel this way any more! This thing inside me, is killing me." He cried, lowering his voice towards the end. 

No one said anything. No one moved. No one breathed. 

Not one of them knew Dean was feeling that way, none of them even guessed. 

"Dean I - " Sam stammered, not knowing what to say. 

Dean ripped his eyes away from Bobby's and looked at his younger brother. It was then at that moment, Dean realised what he said, what he had done. And with all the willpower, his foggy mind gave him, he quickly walked out of the motel room. And exactly like earlier, the fresh air eased his anxiety a little before he walked over to his car. Except, this time he didn't get in and drive away; instead, he leant on the side of the car and threw up onto the road. 

 A few minutes later and Dean still hadn't drove off, he was just sitting in his seat, hands on the steering wheel, contemplating whether to drive away, go back in to them all and explain or just go back in, walk past them all, push Cas off his bed and get - _Cas_. _"Cas heard what I said."_ Dean thought to himself. He internally groaned and slammed his head onto his steering wheel. About 5 minutes later, there was a knock on the passenger door window, Dean jumped up and saw The Angel that invaded every thought, every dream and now every where else. 

"Can I come in?" Cas asked softly. 

Dean nodded slowly, before reaching over and opening the passenger door for Cas. Cas got in and sat down with a sigh. 

"How are you?" He asked. 

"Peachy." Dean replied, looking at the road ahead of the car. 

Cas turned to face Dean and tilted his head to the side a little, squinting his eyes in process, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Dean asked, slightly alarmed. 

"About how you were feeling in yourself." He replied slowly. 

Dean sighed inwards, "I didn't tell anyone." 

"Yes, but why not me?" There was a pinch of sadness in Castiel's voice now. 

Dean turned to face Cas, "What?"

"I am your friend, Dean. I could have helped." Cas replied. 

"You wouldn't have told me." Dean replied slightly childishly. 

"Yes, actually, I would have." Cas said, slightly confused at his remark. 

"You would have told me if something was eating you up inside, something that made you so scared that you couldn't bare to admit it to yourself? Something that caused so much confusion, something that could prove your life was a lie? Something that cause so many people to hate you?" Dean spat out, sadly. 

Cas' eyes darted around the car for a few seconds, trying his hardest to make sense of the conversation they were having. He couldn't help but think that Dean had slightly gone off course. Eventually, it all made sense to him. Everything came rushing to mind when he tried to think of a reply, however. 

"Dean, I lov - " Cas started, before he was rudely interrupted by Dean's phone. 

Dean's heart was racing faster than it has ever done before, he knew what Cas was going to say but he wanted to hear it all, he wanted to hear him say it. Dean sighed before turning away from Cas and reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. He groaned as he read the caller ID but answered it anyway. 

"What do you want?" He asked, annoyed. 

"Ah, squirrel, I need your help." Replied the King of Hell. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story can be quite confusing with Bobby being here and whatever, but it's just my alternate story ha. Oh, and Charlie isn't dying in this, either.

"No." Dean snapped back, he was done with Crowley, he was done with hell. 

"What do you mean, no? I haven't even asked yet." Crowley exclaimed, his pitch slightly rising as he spoke. 

"There's no point in asking, I won't do it." Dean grumbled, tearing his eyes away from Cas once more. 

"You owe me, Dean." Crowley growled.

Dean sucked in a breath and avoided Cas' eyes as they scanned him, trying to figure out what exactly Crowley did for Dean. "Fine, what do you want?" He eventually replied. 

"Are you alone?" Crowley asked quietly, after a couple of seconds. 

Dean squinted his eyes in confusion before looking over to Cas in the passenger seat who was staring right back at him, something was telling Dean to stay in the car and just stay with Cas for a little while longer, but he decided against it and sighed before getting out of his car and walked away to the main road and stood as far as needed from his car. 

"Yes." Dean replied.

* * *

Cas sat patiently in the car, not knowing whether he should get out of the car and go indoors to Sam and Bobby, or stay in the car and wait for Dean to get back so they could continue with their conversation before they were rudely interrupted. But instead of doing what he really wanted, he sighed and got out of the car, once he was out in the freezing air, he looked over to Dean and pointed towards the motel room they were staying in and Dean nodded in response. Cas wanted to just go up to Dean and do whatever normal people did when they loved one and other, but he couldn't do it. For once in his life The Angel was truly too scared. 

He walked back into the motel room and closed the door quietly behind him, and once he turned around to face the two men in the room, both their eyes were already glued onto him. Bobby was sitting near the table and Sam was sitting on Dean's bed. They both looked extremely worried yet relieved to see Cas. 

"How is he?" Sam asked, standing up. 

"He's on the phone to Crowley." Cas replied, completely ignoring Sam's question. 

"What, why?" Sam asked looking towards Bobby. 

"He requested his help." Cas said, looking down to the floor. 

"And he said yes?" Sam scoffed. 

Cas nodded slowly, before walking to the chair opposite Bobby and sat down. 

"Cas?" Sam asked, noticing his mood change. 

"I'm fine." Cas replied, smiling slightly. 

But before Sam could even question it, Dean came barging into the room with a somewhat smile on his face. "Where's my duffel?" He said, as he quickly looked around the room and walked towards his bed. 

"In the car?" Sam replied, with a questioning tone. 

Dean was now kneeling on the floor, looking under his bed, "Oh." He replied, as he stood up slowly. 

"And where do you think you are going?" Bobby asked, getting out of his seat.

"Uh, a case." He replied quickly. 

"Well, take Sam with you then." Bobby said with a smile. 

Dean stuttered for a moment before finally saying, "it's a personal case." 

"Personal?" Bobby asked. 

"Yeah," Dean replied steadily. 

Bobby nodded slowly, examining the man, before moving out of Dean's way so he could get to the door. But before Dean pulled the door open, Cas stood up and placed his arm on Dean's forearm. 

Chills were sent down Dean's arm as he felt Cas grab him, his breathing stopped and his pulse was beating rapidly as his blood raced. He felt his cheeks burn to a crimson red colour, before he turned around to face The Angel. "What is it, Cas?" He asked, trying to steady his breathing. 

Cas couldn't get his words out for a moment, he was too busy trying to control his emotions, as they were trying to burst out of him all at once. Dean noticed this and nodded reassuringly, telling him that it's okay. Cas smiled slightly and took a deep breath, "Whatever you need to do, we can help." Cas eventually said.

Dean looked behind Cas and saw Bobby and Sam staring at him, subconsciously telling him that they agreed with Cas. "I don't need any help." Dean muttered miserably, before tugging his arm away and opening the door, he looked back quickly at his brother sadly and then stormed out and slammed the door shut behind him. He wanted to tell them, but he couldn't. It was too dangerous, and there was no way they'd let him do it alone - besides, he was way too excited for them to ruin it. His mood instantly changed as he got into his car, he laughed excitedly as he tapped the steering wheel. Dean wasn't going to let anyone ruin this, this was the most excited he's felt over a case before. He didn't even know why, he was just so grateful to get out of there and just go on a case by himself.

* * *

Cas sat back down and silently wished Dean remained safe and intact. Sam then let out a breath he had apparently been holding in, and picked his laptop up from the table and sat down on Dean's bed with his laptop on his lap. "What are you doing?" Bobby asked.

Sam looked up from his laptop and said matter of factly, "Tracking Dean."

"How?" Cas asked now. 

"I put a tracker in his phone a few months ago, just in case he was in trouble." Sam said, as he went back to his laptop.

Bobby made a face of content and pride as he took out his gun from his waistline and put it on the table, surprising Cas. Cas stared at the gun for a moment, before standing up and asking Sam, "Where is he? I'll go there now."

"No, we're going together." Sam said looking up to Cas, "You saw Dean, you saw the same amount of danger in his eyes as I did."

Cas nodded slowly and sat back down, "How long will it be?" He asked.

 

It wasn't for another hour that Sam eventually found the place.

"Got it." Sam said quickly, standing up with his laptop and grabbing his coat, "Who's driving?" He asked Bobby and Cas. 

They all left the room and before Cas could offer, Bobby quickly said, "I would rather be caught dead than in that."

Sam chuckled and Cas smiled slightly, and they all walked to Bobby's truck. "You wouldn't mind squashing up next to Cas, would you Sam?" Bobby teased.

"What do you mean?" Cas asked, confused.

"Nothing." Sam answered quickly, glaring at Bobby.

Bobby chuckled as he got into his truck. Cas squinted his eyes at Sam, but eventually dropped it as he got into the truck, trying to take as little room as possible. Sam squeezed in next to him and cleared his throat awkwardly as his cheeks and neck reddened to a dark, deep red. Cas ignored it and looked towards the road as Sam slammed the door to a close. He opened his laptop once more and put it on his lap, well Cas' lap too, and directed Bobby to Dean's location.

 

Dean wiped his knife against his thigh and sighed, _damn demons_. He had been torturing, gutting, killing demons now for the past 2 hours straight and not one had given him the information he needed, well Crowley needed. He stepped over the sixteenth dead demon and headed to the door of the abandoned warehouse, he tried to pull the door open before he was dragged back by someone pulling his collar. "Jesus!" He shouted before turning around.

"Nope." Said Crowley.

"What the hell?" Dean asked, as he looked at Crowley.

"Did you get it?" He asked. 

"No one would tell me." Dean replied. 

"Well, you need to get someone who will." Crowley grumbled. 

Dean stared at Crowley in front of him, and said, "I did what you asked, no one told me anything. You can't ask for anything else." 

"I just did, Dean." He replied, standing closer to the man. 

"No one is going to tell me anything." Dean growled.

"Then make them." Crowley competed. 

But before Dean could say anything or do anything else, Crowley vanished. Dean sighed angrily and went outside, he needed fresh air. Once he was outside, he let the darkness and cold air suffocate him as he leant against the wall. He could hear the groans and pained screams of the remaining demons inside the warehouse, the demons were surrounded by salt and trapped in devil traps. Dean hated torturing people, even demons, but there was something inside of him that urged him to carry on, something urged him to embrace the power and superiority he was gaining. He felt like walking to his car and driving away, far away - but of course, the urges inside him took over. He laughed the weakness away and walked back into the warehouse. The demons froze and instantly put their guards up once more. 

 "We're not telling you anything." A blonde woman shouted. The woman, well demon, was roughly the same height as Dean. Her hair was blonde with dark brown streaks in, her hair was full of life and could grab anyone's attention if she needed it. Her eyes were also emerald green, eyes so beautiful that not only highlighted her beautiful facial features, but also shown the compassion and softness of the woman's soul. Now, the compassionate soul could have belonged to the former resident of the body, but there was also the chance that the damaged yet beautiful soul belonged to the demon. No demon had a soul, all proved that, but that demon standing there, seemed to prove otherwise. Not only was she beautiful, but she also seemed to show courage and bravery to her future torturer. Her bow shaped lips also deemed an attention grabber as they were highlighted with a dark red. 

Dean looked at the brave demon and kept his eyes solely fixed on her. He didn't know why, but his soul was somewhat urging him to go towards her. He wanted to resist, his head told him to resist but there was something there, something making him want to save her. Save her from himself. "What's your name?" Dean asked loudly, as he stood stuck in his spot. 

"Why should I tell you?" The woman asked, a smile dancing on her dark lips, as she crossed her arms across her chest. 

"Because I'll kill another one of your friends otherwise." Dean replied darkly. 

The woman looked to the other demons stuck in their traps and pursed her lips, she wanted to help them and Dean could sense that. Dean knew there was something different about this demon, something special, something worth saving. 

"Arwen." She mumbled. 

Dean squinted his eyes and chuckled, "Your name, not someone off Lord of the Rings." 

She rolled her eyes and sighed, but eventually said, "Harley."

Dean nodded and repeated, "Harley." 

"Yes." She replied. 

Dean smiled slightly. Harley didn't know why, but she smiled too. 

"Right, who's gonna tell me then?" Dean asked loudly, as he looked to the remaining 6 demons in their traps. None said anything, none even moved. Of course none wanted to say anything, they could have been killed for it but then they were also going to be killed if they didn't say. But after glaring at each other for a few seconds, the demons decided they'd rather not tell him. 

Dean growled and put his knife in his back pocket, he walked over to the first trap in front of him, which happened to be Harley's. Her eyes seemed to look glassy as they stared at each other, but Dean didn't know what to do. He had to set an example to the other demons, but he had done it sixteen times now and it still wasn't working. But Dean knew why he was thinking about excuses, he knew that some part of him didn't want to hurt Harley. He sucked in a breath and threw his knife directly into a demon who was in the trap next to Harley's neck. The demon screamed as the only knife that could kill it was lodged into his bodies artery in his neck. Every demon in the room held their breath as Dean stepped away from Harley and faced them all. "Who is planning to kill Crowley?" He shouted. 

No one answered.  

"Just give me a name." Dean sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"April." Harley squeaked.

Dean, and the other demons, looked up to Harley in surprise. No one was supposed to say anything, that's why 16 of their friends died, to protect each other but Harley gave her up with the power of Dean's good looks. However, that wasn't the thing that was running around his mind. April, however, was.

"April, the Angel?" Dean asked quietly eventually, staring at a spot on the floor.

"Yes." Harley replied, still avoiding the other demon's glares. 

Dean had witnessed a lot of things that have nearly killed him, mentally and psychically, but that single word hurt more than anything he had ever heard or seen. His breath was cut in his throat and his head was pounding. He needed to get out of there, he needed to see Cas. Dean stumbled out of the warehouse and once he was out and the door was shut, his legs stumbled and he fell to the floor on his knees. He used his hands to balance himself but his heart was beating too fast and his head was too busy for him to stand up. He was so distracted that he didn't know he was being helped up by someone. Once his breathing had calmed and he could actually hear and feel properly again, he looked to who the hands that were gripping his arm and torso belonged to. Cas. 

"Cas?" Dean croaked. 

"What is wrong?" Cas asked, eyes full of worry. 

Instead of replying, he threw away his pride and threw his arms around Cas as he pulled him in a tight embrace. Taken aback by Dean's action, it took Cas a few seconds to actually realise what was going on, but he eventually smiled and wrapped his arms fully around the man. The hug lasted a bit longer than a normal hug would have, but Dean needed it and Cas knew that. Once Dean pulled away, Cas asked once more what was wrong. Instead of replying, Dean turned around and looked to Sam and Bobby who were leaning against Bobby's van, smiling. "Tracker?" Dean asked Sam. 

Sam nodded proudly. Dean scoffed and turned back to Cas, Dean couldn't ignore Cas. His eyes were too beautiful to ignore; his eyes were as blue as an ocean after a storm. 

"Dean?" Cas asked, as he realised Dean was staring at him. 

"Uh, sorry." Dean stammered awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"So, what's wrong?" Cas asked once more. 

"April. She's back." Dean said, looking down to the floor. 

Cas froze, as well as Sam and Bobby, "How'd you know?" Sam asked. 

Sam and Bobby walked up to the two men.

Dean looked to the door of the warehouse, and muttered, "I got told." 

Sam nodded slowly. But before anyone could said anything else, Crowley quickly popped up leaning against Dean's car. "Jesus, Crowley!" Dean shouted, walking up the demon. 

"What?" He asked. 

Dean motioned his head backwards towards the 3 men, but obviously Crowley didn't care, he just wanted the name. "Moose, Angel, Tongue." He greeted with a nod. 

They 3 men rolled their eyes and watched Dean and Crowley intently, yet still keeping their distance. 

"Who is it?" Crowley asked quietly. 

"April." Dean growled. 

Crowley nodded contently, and thanked Dean. "This means we're even now, right?" Dean asked. 

Crowley laughed before once again, disappearing. Dean rolled his eyes and punched his car. He immediately regretted it though, as he wiped and kissed the part of the car where he punched. The 3 men behind him watched his every move closely. They just watched him have a panic attack, have a secret meeting with Crowley and now punch his car, his baby, it was safe to say they were worried about him. 

Eventually, Dean turned back around to face the others and took a deep breath. "You need to get somewhere safe." He said, pointing to Cas. 

"I'll be fine." Cas replied. 

"No, Cas, I mean it. You need to get somewhere where she wont find you. She is not killing you, again." Dean said sternly. 

Cas smiled slightly and nodded, "I will." 

"The bunker?" Sam suggested. 

Bobby cleared his throat awkwardly and looked down to the floor, as the other men all looked towards him questioningly. 

Just at that moment, a woman screamed Dean's name. Dean jumped before muttering, "Shit." 

"What was that?" Sam asked quickly. 

"Stay here, all of you!" Dean shouted alarmingly before running into the warehouse. Dean ran towards Harley and immediately asked what was wrong. "Are we allowed to leave?" She asked. 

Dean looked towards the demons and sighed, he ruined each salt line and trap - all except Harley's, and watched as they left through the door he came in, probably bumping into the men outside. Once they were out of sight, Dean looked to Harley and asked, "How did you know about April?" 

"She told any demon she found on the street, all except Crowley's most trusted." She replied softly. 

"Why does she want to kill Crowley?" He asked. 

"She said she want's to get back at whoever killed her, and killing Crowley is a little part of doing that." She shrugged. 

Dean realised that April was after him, she was trying to take away the people who he cared about - well, trying to with Crowley anyway. 

"How is she alive?" Dean eventually asked. 

"No one is certain." She replied sadly. 

Dean nodded and looked at Harley. They looked intently at each other for a moment, before Dean looked away. "You trust me." Harley said. 

Dean looked back up and confusedly looked at the demon, "What?" 

"You do, you trust me. You wouldn't have saved me otherwise." She said happily, as she once again crossed her arms across her chest. 

"I didn't save you, I just chose not to kill you." He rolled his eyes.

"You decided to kill a demon than torture me, and you let those go before me and keep me in here so they wouldn't kill me for telling you about April. However, by letting them go, you've endangered me as you've gave them the chance to tell April what I have done." Harley replied slowly. 

It took Dean time to process, but he eventually groaned and rubbed his face angrily, "Do you trust me?" He eventually asked. 

Harley looked surprised, but nodded. 

"Good." Dean replied, before ruining the salt line and scratching her trap. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the door of the warehouse, he stopped and took a deep breath before walking out with his hand still gripping firmly around her forearm. When they were outside, the 3 men stared at them open-mouthed. 

"What the hell is going on?" Bobby asked loudly.

"It's a long story." He mumbled. 

Dean felt uncomfortable as he was buried under the stares of confusion from the three, and he eventually gave up under the pressure. "Come on." He said quietly to Harley as he walked her over to his car. He opened the door and watched her as she got into the passenger seat. Dean closed the door and turned back around to the men, "Cas, get in the back. I'm taking you both to the bunker." 

Cas stared at Dean for a few seconds before nodding and walked over to the car, he got in the back and sat awkwardly in the seat behind Dean's. Harley turned around to look at Cas and smiled. "Hi." 

"Hello." Cas replied quietly. 

"I'm Harley." She introduced. 

"Castiel." He said with a nod. 

 

Bobby stared dully at Dean. "Who is that?" 

"Harley, she's a demon." Dean mumbled. 

"A demon?" Bobby questioned loudly, taking a step towards Dean.

Sam was staying silent, he didn't know what was going on. Too much had happened in the past couple days, that he was struggling to try and work out what needed to happen. 

"Look, she helped me. Now I need to help her." Dean said, looking back at the demon who was also looking at him.

"Dean, she's a demon. We don't trust demons." Sam muttered. 

"There's something different about her." Dean mentioned, turning back around to face the two men. 

Bobby and Sam stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate - but he didn't. Honestly, Dean didn't know why he thought it, but he did. He felt that there was something in her, something that made her different to the other demons, even something that made her seem worthy to be trusted. "Are you gonna meet us at the bunker, or not?" Dean eventually asked.

Sam looked to Bobby, Bobby made a face subconsciously telling Sam to go with Dean and he'll meet them there. Sam nodded. "I'm going with you three."

Dean nodded and walked to his side of the car, but before he got in, he watched Sam take a big breath before getting in, and sitting in the seat behind Harley's, with a weird, yet sad facial expression. Somehow, Dean knew it wasn't about Harley and made a mental note to ask him about it later. He got in and sighed as he felt everyone's eyes on him. "First to complain, is getting out and going with Bobby." He murmured as he fondled with his keys. 

All stopped looking, except Harley. Dean knew this and turned to look at her. "What?" He asked.

"Why are you like that?" She asked. 

Sam scoffed. 

"Like what?" Dean asked, giving Sam a sidewards glance.

"You get pissed when someone is worried about you." She replied, turning in her seat now to face him. 

Dean scanned her face for a moment, trying to think about how to reply. "I don't get _pissed,_ I just don't know what to do with it." 

 "Why don't you just let people worry about you?" Harley said quietly. 

"Look, sweetheart, we just met. You don't know jack about me." Dean replied bluntly, as he turned back to face the front and started the car.

Harley stared at him for a brief couple of seconds before scoffing and turning back around to look out her window. Dean felt guilty but he also felt that bluntness and rudeness was his only defence at that moment.

Sam looked at Cas awkwardly, and pulled out his phone. He opened his messages and sent a text to Cas.

_What just happened? - Sam._

Cas heard his phone chime and sighed before pulling it out, once he saw it was from Sam he looked at him confusedly, before opening it and typing a response.

_I'm not entirely sure. Though, I do believe the demon has struck a nerve with Dean. - Castiel._

_Yeah, but who is she? Why were they in that place together, and why did a bunch of other demons run out a couple of minutes before them? -_ _Sam._

 _We'll have to ask him later, when she's not around. - Castiel._  

_He said there's something different about her. - Sam._

_What do you mean? - Castiel._

_He just said that she's different, so he trusts her, but I don't know why. - Sam._

_Oh. - Castiel._

  _I'm sorry :(  - Sam._

_There's no need for an apology, Sam. - Castiel._

Sam put his phone back into his pocket and flashed a smile at Cas. Cas smiled back and also put his phone away. But, as they put their phones away Dean caught them in the mirror. 

"What are you two doing?" He asked, as he looked back and forth from the mirror to the road. 

Sam looked up and quickly replied. "Nothing."

Dean narrowed his eyes and turned quickly to face Sam. "Spit it out." 

Sam sighed and admitted that himself and Cas were just sending texts about a matter they needed to resolve. Of course Dean asked what the matter was, but Harley glared at him and interrupted before they could reply. "Leave them alone. They're grown men, they can text each other about whatever they want." 

"Keep out of it, green eyes." Dean mumbled, as he looked back to the road. 

"You can't talk." She laughed.

 Dean quickly shot a look at her before loudly asking, "What?" 

"Green eyes," she pointed at his eyes. 

Dean quickly slammed on the brakes before reaching up to look at his eyes in the mirror. "Sam, I have green eyes!" He whined loudly. 

"We know, Dean." Sam said slowly. 

Dean tried to lean closer to the mirror to inspect his eyes, but he couldn't get any closer without hitting his head. 

Sam, now very confused, asked, "What colour eyes did you think you had?" 

"I don't know, I just didn't know they were green!" He exclaimed. 

"Well, you have very pretty eyes." Harley said. 

As Dean was still looking in the mirror, he saw Cas' reaction to Harley's statement. Cas' mouth dropped open a few centimetres and his eyes slowly fell to the floor, and that reaction slowly broke Dean. He thought about how empty and lonely Cas looked at that moment for a few minutes before he finally backed away from the mirror and answered. 

"I've always preferred blue." Dean replied. 

Cas lifted his eyes to the mirror and watched as Dean smiled at him. 

"Oh? And who do the eyes belong to?" Harley asked, a smile growing on her lips. 

 Dean turned his head to Harley. "What?" 

"Who's blue eyes?" She asked. 

"None of your business." Dean muttered, as he started the car up again. 

Harley squinted her eyes and looked at Dean for a moment, before turning around in her seat and looked at Sam and Cas. She firstly looked at Sam, and closely examined his face, well eyes. "Sam?" She asked, still looking at Sam. 

"Hell no!" He shouted. 

"What? Sam is very, very good looking." She replied, turning back around to face Dean. 

"He's my brother." Dean groaned, as he drove. 

Harley froze before laughing, "I thought Cas was your brother?" 

"No!" Dean and Cas loudly exclaimed in unison. 

Harley jumped at the loudness of the two men, before looking suspiciously at Dean and then Cas. She then gasped and repeatedly hit Dean's arm, whilst squealing. 

"What, are you crazy?" Dean shouted, trying to drive as normal as possible whilst his arm was being attacked. 

"Cas has blue eyes!" She squealed. 

Cas awkwardly shuffled in his seat, Sam did also.

"Chill, okay?" Dean said quickly. 

Harley took a deep breath and removed her arms away from Dean. She then leant closely towards Dean ear, and whispered, "Does he know?" She leant back in her seat and awaited Dean's reply. 

Dean took a breath and used his head to tell her to come closer, once she was close enough, Dean leant a little forward and whispered sarcastically, "If he didn't, he does now." 

Harley leant back and smiled apologetically before asking Cas, "so, you did know?" 

"I had my guesses." He replied quietly. 

"So, he never actually told you?" Harley asked, facing Cas. 

"Not exactly." Cas answered. 

"Oh?" She said, now looking at Dean. 

"What?" Dean asked, looking at Harley and then the road. 

"You never told him?" She asked, shaking her head in disgust. 

"It's complicated." He mumbled, quickly looking at Sam in the mirror. 

Sam saw this and narrowed his eyes, before quickly panicking and shouting, "stop the car!" 

Dean knew why, so he didn't question it, and once he had stopped the car, himself and Sam got out. Dean told the other two to be quiet and stay in the car. 

"You know?" Sam asked, once they were outside. 

"Of course I knew." Dean said quickly.

But, because they were only a little distance from the car, the two left in the car heard everything. 

"And you didn't tell me?" Sam asked, a little sadly. 

"No, I wanted you to tell me." Dean replied. 

"Dean, I'm so sorry." Sam mumbled, looking at the floor. 

"Hey, it's not your fault." Dean said with a sad smile. 

Sam returned the smile and said, "I didn't mean to. I don't want to have feelings for him."

Dean sighed, "I know." 

"I'm never planning on doing anything about it, I know how you two feel about each other. I will never tell him I love him." Sam rushed. 

Dean stared at his brother, not knowing what to do or what to say. "You're in love with Cas?" 

Sam stammered, he didn't want to say that. He didn't want to admit to himself, let alone Dean. He tried to take it back, but he knew that it wouldn't work. He said it and he could never take it back, no matter how hard he tried. But before either of them could say another thing, Harley opened her window and stuck her head out. "I'm sorry to ruin whatever this is, but we have to go. I just got a text from April." 

Dean and Sam quickly looked at each other before rushing back to the car. Once they were all back in the car, Harley shown Dean the text:

_I know you told Dean Winchester. Thank you._

"Why is she saying thank you?" Harley asked worriedly. 

Dean didn't reply, instead he angrily started his car and drove quicker than before. 

* * *

 

 It had been an hour since Sam told Dean he too loved Cas, and since the text; and not one person had said anything. They found it all too awkward. Of course, Sam and Dean didn't know the other two knew about Sam loving Cas, but that just made it more awkward for Harley and Cas. Eventually, Dean's ringing phone broke the awkwardness. 

"Hello?" He answered, not even looking a the caller ID.

"What's up, bitches?" Said a happy woman. 

"Charlie?" Dean asked happily. 

"Hey." She replied. 

"What are you doing?" He asked. 

"Well, I'm at the bunker and no one is here." She groaned. 

"Yeah, we're on the way back now. We'll be about 10 minutes." Dean replied. 

"We? As in, you and Sam?" Charlie asked excitedly. 

"Yes, me and Sam. But Cas and another person is with us too, and Bobby isn't far behind." Dean said quietly. 

"Another person?" Charlie questioned. 

"It's complicated." He answered, looking at Harley and watched as she turned to face him.

Everyone could clearly hear their conversation, and Charlie knew too, but she didn't care. "Is she good looking?" 

Dean laughed, and scanned Harley for a few seconds. "Very."

Charlie sighed happily. "Gay?" 

Dean looked back to Harley and raised his eyebrows instead of asking her, Harley looked at him blankly for a couple of seconds, before shrugging. Dean laughed and said, "maybe." 

"Awesome. See you soon." Charlie said excitedly before ending the call. 

Dean chuckled and put his phone back into his pocket, and looked back to the road, picking up the speed. 

 "So, Charlie's back at the bunker?" Sam asked quietly. 

"Yeah," Dean also replied quietly. 

Sam nodded, he didn't want Dean to be angry with him. But, Dean wasn't, well, he didn't want to be. There was just that uncertainty that maybe all them times, Cas was flirting with Sam, too. 

"Sam, I need you to ring Bobby." Dean said. 

"Why?" Sam asked, as he got out his phone and started to dial Bobby's number. 

"Pizza, and pie." Dean said, and smiled contently. 

Sam groaned, but agreed and called Bobby. Once Bobby had answered, Sam asked him to pick up their food for them. But before the call had ended, Sam gasped. 

"What?" Dean asked quickly, looking back to Sam and then the road. 

"My laptop is in Bobby's truck." Sam moaned sadly. 

Dean leant back and hit Sam for scaring him, and watched as Sam thanked Bobby and ended the call. 

"What was that for?" Sam asked Dean, once he was off the phone.

"You and your stupid laptop." Dean mumbled. 

Sam chuckled and leant his head back on his headrest. "Is he getting pie?" Dean asked. 

"Yes, he's getting damn pie." Sam sighed, still leaning his head on the headrest with his eyes closed. 

"Good." Dean muttered. 

Sam hummed contently, and Dean turned around to see he had quickly fallen asleep. He saw Cas look at him, and motioned for him to come closer. Once Cas was just against Dean's chair, Dean carefully leant forward as he drove, and picked up a plastic spoon. Dean handed it to Cas and quietly told him to slowly and carefully, put it in Sam's mouth. 

"Why?" Cas asked, shocked. 

"Because it's funny, just do it." Dean whispered, looking back to him and then the road again. 

Cas thought about it for few seconds, before sighing and finally slowly placing the spoon into Sam's mouth. Dean got out his phone and quickly took a picture before putting his phone away and continued driving. Harley and Cas also took a picture using their phones and quietly snickered, before sitting normally and waited for Sam to wake up. Luckily for him, he quickly woke once he heard Harley laugh loudly. He smacked the spoon away from his mouth and spluttered, before loudly exclaiming, "Dean, what the hell!" 

"It wasn't me." Dean said innocently, as he watched the sun slowly rise on the horizon. 

"You're all a bunch of kids." Sam muttered. 

Dean laughed, along with the other two, and slowly pulled up into their garage. 

"Woah, are you rich?" Harley asked, as she looked out her window. 

Dean scoffed and muttered, "legacies." 

Harley looked at him confusedly, before looking back out her window. 

* * *

Dean quickly rushed down the stairs and watched as Charlie rushed over to him. He quickly pulled her into a tight hug, and they both chuckled happily.

"Hey, kiddo." He mumbled into her head, as he gave her a quick kiss.

They pulled apart and she smiled up at him, before squeezing his arm and walking over to Sam. They hugged and greeted each other happily, before she went onto hugging Cas and then introducing herself fondly to Harley.

Once they were all seated at the table, and waiting for Bobby with the food, Charlie asked what had happened. Dean offered to explain, but obviously missed out the part about him torturing sixteen demons and his conversation with Sam. But when Dean had finished, Harley asked, in front of everyone, why he didn't tell them about the start? Everyone's eyes then landed on Dean and they watched him closely. Fortunately for him, Bobby then came down the stairs with a bag of food, and 3 pizza boxes; and Sam's laptop.

"Bobby, I could kiss you right now." Dean muttered, though those at the table still heard it. 

Dean and Charlie both stood up and walked over to help Bobby, once Bobby's hands were free Charlie hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She was always so damn happy. 

The food was all placed on the table and before Harley went to grab a slice, Dean softly grabbed her arm and led her to the corner of the room, ignoring everyone's stares.

"What are you trying to do?" Dean asked quietly. 

"I thought they should know?" She replied, crossing her arms. 

"Yes, but not now." Dean whispered, looking over at his family who were also looking at them. 

Dean looked back at Harley and they stared at each other for a few seconds, before Harley leant up and kissed his cheek, her lips lingered for a moment before she pulled away and said, "fine."

Harley walked back over to where the rest were and sat back down, she ignored everyone's confused looks and grabbed a slice of pizza. However, Dean was still standing in the same spot that she left him in. The kiss felt different, it felt weird. He thought about it for a moment, and was eventually dragged out his thoughts when he heard Harley say his name. 

"Dean, you okay?" She asked, once more. 

Dean turned and looked at her, something felt off. He couldn't put his finger on it, but Dean knew something was off. 

"Yep." He muttered, before walking back to the table and sitting down in between Charlie and Sam. 

Everyone was looking at Dean, but stopped once they realised he didn't want to talk about it. 

But, after a lot of thinking and looking around, Dean eventually stood up and sat in the empty seat next to Harley and asked, "Harley, who are you?" 

Harley laughed and asked, "what do you mean?" 

"Why are you good? No demon is good." He replied. 

"I'm different." She replied, turning to face Dean. 

Chatter amongst the group had now quietened as they listened to Dean's and Harley's conversation. 

"I know that, but why are you different?" Dean questioned.

"If this is your way of trying to get me into bed, it's not working." Harley laughed, taking another bite of her slice of pizza. 

"Demons don't eat." Dean muttered. 

"Then why are you?" She asked quietly. 

Dean narrowed his eyes in confusion and shook his head, "what?"

But at that moment, blood rushed to Dean's head. He pushed his chair back and stood up, trying to get away from the beautiful demon. He stumbled as he walked away, and everything around him felt as if it was spinning. Sam quickly stood up to help his brother, but before he got to him, Dean mumbled April's name and fell, smacking his head on the way down. 

Everyone jumped up and ran to Dean as he lay unconscious on the floor, all except Harley. 


	3. Chapter 3

Cas slowly placed Dean's unconscious body on his bed, as everyone carefully watched. "I can wake him up," Cas stated. 

"Maybe he should just wake up by himself." Sam said quietly. 

Cas nodded and stepped away from Dean's bed. Everyone looked at the unconscious man with worry and confusion as they tried to work out what happened. Eventually, Bobby, who was at the back of everyone, placed his hand on Sam's shoulder and suggested they all gave Dean the room and time to come around. They all agreed and walked out of his room and back to the main room.

"What do you think happened?" Charlie eventually asked, once everyone was seated at the table. 

"He asked me a couple of questions before  _it_ happened." Harley replied quietly.

The groups eyes were then placed sternly on her, they knew that Dean had asked a weird question and moved next to her before it happened, but they didn't think it had anything to do with it. 

"Well, did you mention April?" Cas asked, tilting his head.

"No." Harley replied. 

"Then why did he say April's name before he fell?" Charlie asked, as she slumped into her chair. 

No one replied, no one knew the truth. No one except Dean. 

* * *

 

Dean eventually woke. His head was pounding and his vision was foggy, but he was able to remember what had happened. He slowly sat up and looked around the familiar surroundings, he was able to work out where he was and that was his way of telling himself he was fine. Dean slowly removed his blanket and stood up, using his bed as a crutch to remain balanced, but once he was standing fully, the room around him seemed like it was spinning. 

"Shit." He moaned, as he closed his eyes and rubbed his hands over his head and face. 

Dean felt as if he was drunk, he felt as if the past 24 hours were a very bad, drunken nightmare. Unfortunately, in the back of his mind, he knew that wasn't true. Dean knew that he had to help his family, in this drunk like state. Dean groaned once more before forcing his legs to move towards the door of his room, but before he left, he quickly made sure his knife was still securely hidden in the waistline of his trousers. Once he was certain he was able to move again without throwing up or feeling as if the world was spinning around him, he left his room and headed towards the main room. When he was close enough, he could hear chatter coming from amongst the group. This was his chance, Dean thought. 

Dean shuffled through the hall and into the main room, and watched as everyone's eyes fell onto him. They all stood up with a relief filled smile on their faces and sighed happily. 

"Dean, are you okay?" Sam asked, as he walked up to his brother. 

But Dean couldn't focus on Sam, he could only focus on the woman who was trying her hardest to avoid his gaze. Dean angrily, without saying a word, pushed past Sam and headed straight for the table. 

"Dean?" Sam asked worriedly, as he watched him.

Dean ignored him and growled as he jumped over the table and grabbed Harley as he pushed her up against the wall. Everyone jumped and shouted Dean's name, as he used one arm to hold her against the wall and the other holding the knife against her pale throat. 

"Dean, what are you doing?" Charlie asked loudly.

"She lied." Dean growled loudly. 

"Well, don't kill her." Bobby shouted. 

"She's a demon, Bobby!" Dean shouted back, not taking his eyes off the demon. 

Harley tensed her jaw and stared at Dean, "do you want to tell them or should I?" 

Dean didn't reply, instead he pushed the knife closer to her neck. Harley gulped and closed her eyes fearfully. 

"Tell us what?" Sam asked, nearing the two calmly. 

"Back off, Sam." Dean grumbled.

"That your brother is a psychotic killer, who would do anything just to kill." Harley replied, as she opened her eyes and looked to Sam behind Dean. 

"Stop!" Dean shouted, pushing the knife closer, which caused the knife to slowly puncture the woman's neck. 

"Dean!" Sam shouted. 

Dean slowly turned around, not releasing Harley, and faced Sam. Sam saw Dean's face and suddenly wished that he had never turned around, as he saw Dean's eyes slowly turn black. 

"She's working with April." Dean muttered quietly, as he knew what Sam had saw. He could feel it. He could feel the power surging through his body. 

"Then why did you save me, why did you feel the same way I did when we met? Or, shall I say, when you captured me?" Harley gulped out. 

Everyone in the room grimaced, as they had no idea what to do or what to say. Dean, whom they loved, was turning into something he wasn't. He was turning into a demon, and now the only demon they trusted had betrayed them. Fortunately, Sam slowly backed to where the rest where fearfully standing and carefully and quietly told Bobby to take Charlie and get out. Bobby and Charlie shook their heads in protest, but soon accepted once they heard Dean growl once more. They slowly walked to Cas and watched as he placed his fingers on their heads and took them to a motel in the middle of nowhere, before quickly returning alone.

"I saved you because I saw something in you." Dean eventually replied. 

"Then let me go, please." Harley begged, as her eyes softened. 

"Have you told April where we are?" He asked quietly. 

"No, I swear." She promised.

Dean nodded and pouted, before slowly pulling the knife away and backing away from the demon. Harley gasped for her breath and smiled in gratitude, as well as Sam and Cas sighing in relief as they realised Dean had regained his humanity. 

"But," Dean began once more, gaining feared stares from everyone in the room, "you do know where we live." 

Harley moved away from the wall and safely to the other side of the table, where Sam and Cas were also standing. Dean's, now green, eyes followed Harley's every moved. 

"Please, Dean, you can trust me." She begged. 

"Trusting a demon is one thing, but trusting a witch is another." Dean shrugged.

Harley ran behind Cas and gripped onto his shoulders, "what are you doing?" Cas asked loudly to the frightened woman behind him.

"Witch?" Sam asked. 

"Yeah, she's a witch. She's been putting spells on me all night." Dean replied angrily, now staring at Cas. 

"Dean, you can't kill her." Sam said quietly, as he took a step towards his older brother. Sam put a hand reassuringly on his brothers shoulder and watched as Dean's gaze fell on him, Sam mentally sighed in relief as he saw humanity and compassion return into his brothers emerald green eyes. 

"Fine, your way." Dean said quietly, as he placed his knife back into his waistline. 

* * *

Once Harley was handcuffed with the handcuffs that prevented witches from casting spells, and trapped in a devils trap in their dungeon, Dean was finally able to heal. 

"What happened to you, Dean?" Sam asked eventually, once the 3 men were sitting in main room. 

Dean took a large gulp of his beer and shrugged. Dean wasn't lying, he didn't know what happened. All he knew was that he nearly became a demon and he didn't want that to happen again - well, not at that particular moment anyway. 

"Are you okay now?" Cas asked quietly. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, Cas." Dean replied, looking at The Angel. 

Cas stared back at Dean and smiled, as he felt his neck burn dark red. The intense stares was interrupted, however, by Sam getting up and grabbing another beer for himself from the side. "What do we do with her?" Sam asked. 

"We can just kill her, save us all the trouble." Dean muttered into his beer bottle. 

Sam rolled his eyes and sat back down at the table. "How did you know she wasn't who she said she was?" Sam asked, confused by his own question.

"Just a feeling." Dean mumbled, not looking at the two men. 

Sam nodded slowly and intensely watched his brother.

The 3 men all took a gulp of their beer, before slowly putting them down onto the table and listened to Harley as she screamed Dean's name. "Please, Dean, listen to me." She screamed.

She shouted for Dean for at least another 5 minutes, and it eventually got too much for him. Dean slammed his bottle down onto the table and stood up, he watched as Cas and Sam stared up at him, but he didn't care. He was too angry now, and he wouldn't let Sam stop him this time. He left the table and walked directly to the dungeon. He was going to kill that bitch.

 

Dean unlocked the door and watched as Harley slammed her mouth shut and stared at him as he neared her. "What do you want?" Dean growled. 

Dean walked closer to Harley, until his foot was on the border of the Devil's Trap. He didn't want her to have any slight opportunity to attack him, the game was all his. 

"I need you to believe me." She pleaded. 

"You can beg all you want. I ain't gonna change my mind." Dean replied, pursing his lips. 

"Dean, please? You know I wont tell her where we are. You trust me, I know you do." Harley pleaded once more, looking up to him with wide eyes. 

Dean sighed and looked straight past the woman. "I did trust you. You made me believe you were the one who could help us end this crap." 

"You can still trust me; I can still help you!" She raised her voice, trying her hardest to keep Dean's gaze locked on her.

"No." Dean whispered, now staring at the demon in front of her. 

"Dean, please?" She pleaded, her voice now lowering to a tone to match Dean's. 

Dean didn't know what to say. He wanted to trust her, something inside of him was telling him to trust her, that she was one of the good guys. But, when had his instincts ever been right? Well, a couple of times. But maybe not this time. "I don't think I can."

"You can, Dean. I know you feel the same way I do. There's something there, we both know it." She replied softly. 

Dean's eyes locked with Harley's, and he realised she was right. There was something there that made him desire her, something that made him want to help her. There was something telling him that he could trust her. He couldn't work out what was going on inside of him, but it grew too strong. The feeling inside him grew and he couldn't hold it in any longer. He took a deep breath before quickly turning on his heel and marching straight out of the room. Once he was out into the corridor, he leant against the wall and sighed.

"Dean?" Cas asked softly, as he slowly came round the corner.

"Hey." Dean cleared his throat, and pushed himself off the wall. 

"Are you okay?" Cas asked, nearing towards Dean. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some air." Dean muttered, avoiding Cas' gaze. 

Cas was now standing a metre away from Dean and Dean could feel Cas' hot breath on his face, it was enticing. Dean watched as Cas' chest slowly rose, and how his smile was now slanted, and how his beautiful, blue eyes examined Dean's body just as how Dean was examining Cas. The air around them got thick and so silent, that not one of them thought it would be better to disturb that. Dean's eyes flickered from Cas' eyes to his lips, to his enchanting lips, and watched as Cas' eyes also flickered down to Dean's lips. Cas subconsciously stepped forward towards Dean and Dean edged towards The Angel. Cas' arm rose slightly to cup Dean's face, before a shout coming from Harley caused them both to jump apart from each other. 

"Dean!" She shouted again, definitely not going unnoticed. 

Dean's eyes awkwardly flickered to Cas, before he growled angrily and marched back into the room. "What?" He shouted. 

Cas stood still in the corridor, he didn't know what to do. He wanted to grab Dean and just kiss him until they both passed out from suffocation, he wanted to just kiss him. But everything made it seem so impossible. Cas ran a hand through his hair, before sighing and walking into the room to join Dean and Harley. 

"What's going on?" Cas asked, once he saw Dean facing away from Harley and leaning against the metal table.

"He thinks I'm gonna tell April," she groaned. 

"Well, are you?" Cas asked. 

"No, of course not. You trust me, right, Blue eyes?" Harley asked. 

Dean grimaced at Cas' nickname and spun around to face her. "Stop talking to him." He growled. 

"Why, you scared I'll be the next to fall for him?" She asked, mockingly. 

"Harley." Cas warned. 

"Wait, what do you mean?" Dean asked, curious as to what she knew. 

"Harley, don't." Cas now urged. 

Dean and Harley both turned to look at Cas, and they both watched him with eager eyes. 

"Anyway," she began, grabbing Dean's attention once more. "We know you're not the only Winchester who's in love with Cas." 

Dean stared at Harley for a few moments and then stood up straight, stretching his back. He blinked repeatedly, and sighed. "You both heard?"

"Sorry." Harley half-smiled. 

Dean looked at the woman before him, and examined the blonde hair now streaked with not just brown, but blood, too. He saw that her once happy, and light eyes were now dull and sad. Dean remembered the first time he properly looked at Harley, in that warehouse and compared that image to her now. Before he knew it, he broke his own heart as he realised what he had done. He rubbed his face and sighed. 

"Fine." He mumbled, before walking closer to Harley and unlocking the chains that held her captive.

"You need to ring Crowley." Harley said, once she was standing up.

"Why?" Dean asked, confused. He was expecting more of a thank you, than an instruction. 

"Check if he's okay. You know, that he's not dead?" Harley replied. 

Dean then remembered that Crowley was being hunted by April, too. "Crap." He mumbled.

He fondled in his pockets for a moment before finding his phone and quickly dialling Crowley's number. The ringing tone seemed to go on forever, and Dean nervously watched Harley and Cas as they stared at him, too.

Eventually the call was picked up.

"Ah, squirrel." Crowley said happily.

"You're not dead, then." Dean subtly smiled.

"Not yet. Have 'ad some run in's with the bitch, though." He mumbled.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

"I was trying to collect my debts, when this ginger whore stops me and attacks me with a bloody Angel blade!" Crowley groaned, as his pitch rose.

"Did she say anything?" Dean asked worriedly.

"She just muttered your name a couple of times." Crowley replied.

"Right. Thanks, Crowley. Ring me if you need a hand." Dean muttered.

"Counting on it." Crowley replied happily, before ending the call. 

Dean put his phone away, and watched as Cas and Harley squinted their eyes in confusion towards Dean.

"What?" He asked awkwardly. 

"Why are you and Crowley so close? I mean, everyone in Hell knows Crowley's your bitch, but wow." Harley mocked. 

"No reason." Dean mumbled, as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Dean?" Harley asked, in a somewhat sing-song voice. 

"It's nothing." He mumbled once more, as he wished the ground would just swallow him whole.

"Please don't tell me you kissed him?" Said a voice, leaning against the door way of the room.

Everyone's eyes now fell on Sam, as he rested on the door frame happily. Cas and Harley then turned around to face Dean once more, but Dean's face was now a burning red colour, as his eyes fell everywhere else except from on the faces that stared at him. Dean's reaction to Sam's joke shocked Sam, and he pushed himself off the door frame and quickly walked to where the other two where, as they all stared at Dean.

"Oh my God, you kissed Crowley!" Sam groaned.

Dean sighed and rubbed his face, he then quickly got his phone back out and called Crowley, once again. They all watched Dean with mocking faces, as he waited for Crowley to answer the phone. 

"2 calls in one day. I am a lucky mistress." Crowley teased.

The 3 heard this, and Sam scoffed as he tried his hardest not to laugh.

"Cut it out, Crowley. They know." Dean sighed, as he turned around and faced the wall.

Crowley laughed. "You finally came out to your little friends." 

"What? No. They know that we, _you know_." Dean cringed. 

Sam, Harley and Cas' faces all dropped. "Jesus Christ, Dean. Seriously?" Harley laughed, as she hit his arm and spun him around.

"We only kissed!" Dean raised his voice alarmingly.

"Keep telling yourself that, Dean." Crowley mumbled, and gained laughs from everyone except Dean. 

Dean closed his eyes and honestly thought about giving up at that point. However, Harley grabbed the phone out of Dean's hand. "Crowley, you wanna come round?" 

"Excuse me? Who is this?" Crowley asked quickly. 

 _Shit_ , Dean thought. Crowley was the one who captured Harley in the first place, and now she was here on the phone to him, with Dean. 

"I'm Dean's Demon friend." Harley smiled. 

Luckily, Crowley wasn't the one to remember such small details. 

"Get Sam to call me there. I'm not quite safe in Hell anyway." Crowley replied before ending the call.

Harley passed the phone back to an angry and embarrassed Dean. 

"I didn't call for that, I called because now our deal is off." Dean mumbled, as he snatched his phone off the woman.

Sam rolled his eyes mockingly and walked out of the room to summon the demon. Cas' eyes trailed Sam's movements as he walked out, and Dean's eyes were glued on Cas as he watched. Anger surged through Dean's body, as he watched the man he liked watch his brother with such concentration on his face. However, as Dean's eyes were too busy trained stiffly on Cas, he was not able to look away fast enough as Cas turned back around to face Dean. 

"Is something wrong?" Cas asked, confused. 

"No." Dean muttered quickly, before turning around and taking a deep breath.

Cas lowered his eyes to the floor, and the atmosphere soon became awkward as they all eagerly waited for Sam and Crowley's return. Harley, however, was unexpectedly enjoying the sudden awkwardness. She immediately realised that something happened, or could have happened, between the two men before she eagerly called Dean back into the room and now the business between Crowley - and Sam liking Cas, suddenly caused a reaction and may have strained things. Harley didn't enjoy it for the suffering of the two men, she enjoyed it as she realised that Dean and Cas loved each other more than she had ever seen before. Fortunately for the two men, a couple of minutes went by and Sam walked in with Crowley close behind him. Crowley walked in and his eyes soon fell onto Harley. Everyone held their breath and waited for what Crowley had to say.

"I know you." He began, pointing a finger in her direction.

Harley gulped subtly and shook her head, "I am a demon. Though, we've never met directly."

"Well-spoken. I like it." Crowley replied, clearly impressed.

The group smiled in relief and then all eyes fell mockingly on Dean and Crowley. "Well?" Sam asked. 

Dean looked to Sam and now saw that as himself and Crowley stood directly in front of one and other, the others were watching them in a line from a side. "Well, what?" Dean asked, lowering his eyebrows. 

"Aren't you two going to talk?" Cas asked, as a slight smile played on his lips.

Dean eyed Cas teasingly and turned to face Crowley. "The deal's off, Crowley. They know."

Crowley looked at Dean with a steady and straight face, before then looking at Sam, Cas and Harley. "So, I'm not your secret mistress any more?" He asked, looking back at Dean. 

"You were never my - what?" Dean spat out, confused.

Harley snorted and looked down to the floor.

"I was so your mistress. You begged for me." Crowley said with a low voice, nearing Dean.

Dean saw Crowley walk slowly towards him, and he looked alarmingly towards his brother for help. Though, none helped. They all stared with wide, excited eyes as Crowley slowly walked towards the obviously worried man. Crowley was now a foot away from Dean, and Dean thought this was close enough, as he backed away and ended up bumping into the side of the metal table. Cas and Sam hid their laughter as Harley snorted once more.

"Okay, Crowley. You wanted a reaction." Dean said quickly, holding his hands up in a form as if he was surrendering.

Crowley chuckled and turned to face the rest of the group. "What do you all know about this Angel, then?"

Dean sighed in relief as all the focus and attention was now off him, though he was still slightly shaken up and nervous. Crowley always knew how to provoke a reaction out of Dean, and he hated it. He hated knowing that Crowley could just turn Dean into a shaking mess, as he tried to embarrass him in front of his friends. He hated that even though what Crowley did, made him feel sick, Dean still loved seeing Cas' face churn with jealousy. 

"She wants to go after Dean, and everything he loves." Harley stated, folding her arms in seriousness. 

Everyone turned to face Harley in shock and frustration, all except Dean. "Because I killed her." He added in shame, yet there was a slight pinch of pride laced in his voice.

"Well, why did you go and do that for?" Crowley asked, as his pitch rose. 

"She killed Cas." Dean said angrily, as he faced Crowley and pointed at Cas. 

"You never killed my mother for trying to get me killed." Crowley raised his voice, now facing Dean. 

"What?" Dean shouted. 

"You'll kill for The Angel, but not for me?" Crowley asked. 

"Are you joking?" Dean asked, genuinely confused. 

"No, of course I'm not joking." Crowley replied, with a loud voice. 

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Dean said, rubbing his face in frustration. 

"Why wouldn't you kill for me?" Crowley asked.

"I can't tell if you're joking any more. But, you're acting like you're my boyfriend when you're so not." Dean muttered, facing the wall. 

All eyes were on Dean and Crowley as they argued, and the 3 held their breaths to minimize as much noise as possible. However, the last sentence that Dean spoke, struck a nerve within Cas. He didn't have time to think this through, before he took a step towards the two and chimed in. "Why did you kill for me?"

Dean squinted his eyes and slowly turned around the face the man in the trench coat, as he held his ground and stood still, as everyone's eyes were now on him. "What?" Dean asked.

"Why did you kill April for me?" He asked, once more.

"Because she killed you, Cas." Dean replied quietly. 

"But, I have died a numerous amount of times. There was no need to kill her." Cas replied, as bold as the way he asked the question in the first place.

"We need to focus on finding April, before she kills any of you." Dean grumbled, trying to change the subject. 

However, Dean's way of trying to change the subject was deemed a pointless one, as everyone still stared at him, expecting answers. Of course, all but two knew the reason, but they still all wanted to hear it from him. 

 "Answer the question." Crowley groaned, growing impatient. 

"What the hell, dude? Seriously." Dean asked, suddenly confused as to why Crowley was so interested in his business. 

"You can't just kiss me, and expect me to be normal with you, Dean." Crowley grumbled. 

Crowley's statement shocked Dean, he didn't know the kiss was such a big deal to The Demon. Himself and Crowley had not changed since the kiss, and Dean wasn't planning on them to. But, it was obvious that maybe Crowley did want something more. Something more than just a pair of friends that had a confusing yet domestic relationship. 

"You have feelings for Dean?" Cas asked, edging towards Crowley.

"What's it to you, Angel?" Crowley snapped back defensively.

Cas squinted his eyes as he watched Crowley's cheeks burn with a dark red colour. 

Dean rubbed his face in frustration and badly wanted to just scream, but he couldn't. He took a deep breath and muttered something along the lines of, needing to find April and walking out of the room. Everyone watched as Dean walked out of the room, and their eyes soon all fell onto Crowley. He squirmed uncomfortably under the attention and his wall of anger and irritation was quickly put back up. "What are you lot all staring at?" He asked angrily, before walking out of the room to help Dean find April. 

 Sam snorted and Cas angrily watched Crowley walk out of the room. Harley watched the two and chuckled. "Blue and green eyes really can't catch a break." She muttered before also leaving the room, leaving Sam and Cas all alone. 

"You heard then?" Sam asked quietly, looking down to the floor.

Cas closed his eyes as he still faced the doorway. "Yes." 

"I don't want anything to change between us, Cas. It's just a little thing." Sam rushed. 

Cas turned around to face Sam and opened his eyes. "You're in love with me, Sam. It's not a little thing." 

"Just forget it." Sam murmured, as he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I can't." Cas replied quietly, as he took a step towards the taller man.

This was too much for Sam now, he couldn't resist. Sam leant down and cupped Cas' face before pushing his lips firmly onto Cas'. Sam deepened the kiss, and as Cas expected, the kiss didn't send sparks down him. Cas didn't feel a sense of electricity flow through his body as he kissed the Winchester - and in all honesty, Sam didn't feel it, too. Once they pulled apart, they looked at each other with wide, lust full eyes and awkwardly took a step back from one and other. However, due to them being tied up in their own little world, they failed to see the broken Winchester staring at them as he stood in the doorway.

Dean watched as they both smiled at each other and looked to the ground. Tears filled his eyes as he felt his heart shatter in his chest, the pain surging through his body felt so deep that he was not sure he had ever felt pain so harsh before. He wanted to move, he wanted to run away and never show his face around anyone again. But he couldn't. His whole body shook and hurt, as he stood there watching the two stand so close to each other. Dean wanted to die. 

Eventually, Dean's response was to run away. He quietly crept away from the doorway and quietly walked back up to the kitchen. Once Dean was safely hid away in the kitchen, he walked to the fridge and took out a crate of beers and a couple bottles of whiskey from the shelf next to the fridge. He walked, completely emotionless and empty, to the the table and placed himself and the alcohol at the table. Dean didn't know what to do, or what to feel any more. He felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest - by his brother. Dean felt empty and so lost. He looked at the beer and then the whiskey and thought about what he was going to drink first. Dean eventually decided on the whiskey, going by which could get him drunk quicker, and picked up the bottle. He unscrewed the bottle and placed it to his lips, without a glass, and took a big gulp. He wanted to forget everything regarding that day, he wanted to forget seeing the man he loved kiss his brother. His damn brother. His brother and the man he loved. Bile rose in his stomach as he thought about the image that would be forever engraved in his brain. He sighed angrily and took another big gulp of the whiskey. 

* * *

 2 full bottles of whiskey and 4 bottles of beer later, Dean stumbled out of the kitchen and walked to the main room. Dean's drunk mind expected the room to be empty, but he was unpleasantly surprised as Sam, Cas, Crowley and Harley were sitting at the table with laptops and books surrounding them.

Harley was the first to see Dean, and quickly stood up to meet him. "Dean?"

The rest then turned around to see him, as they all squinted their eyes in confusion. "We thought you were asleep." Sam said.

"Well I wasn't." Dean slurred, as he walked towards the table.

Everyone watched him with great concentration. "Are you drunk?" Crowley asked the question everyone else wanted to ask.

"What's it to you?" Dean grumbled, as he grabbed a beer bottle off the table and shook it, smiling contently as he realised the bottle was full.

"Who pissed in your cereal?" Crowley grumbled.

Dean scoffed and surprisingly opened the beer with his hands, everyone was staring at him with confusion. They didn't know what was wrong with Dean, but they knew it was something bad if it caused him to resort to this much alcohol. Dean rolled his eyes at everyone as they stared at him, and took a big gulp of his beer. He didn't even know who the beer belonged to, but it was his now. Once the bottle was pulled away from his lips, he looked clearly at everyone and where they were sitting. Crowley was sitting on the end of the table and Harley was sitting on one side, opposite to Cas and Sam who sat besides each other. Dean was standing close to Sam and his eyes soon fell down to small gap separating Sam and Cas.  Everyone's eyes followed Dean's and they were all soon staring at the small gap in between Cas and Sam. 

"What the hell is going on with you?" Crowley asked, now standing up. 

"Nothing." Dean muttered, taking another angry gulp of beer. 

"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked softly.

Dean's eyes shot down to Cas, and the pain in his chest soon returned. His pain was so deep, that everyone in the room saw the pain emerge in his eyes. "Dean, what is it?" Cas asked, more concerned now. 

Dean shrugged and took another gulp of his beer. He decided that he had been in the room long enough now, and tried to walk away. He stumbled a couple of times, resulting in the rest of the table standing up to help just in case. But, as Dean walked towards the corridor, he decided against it and turned back around. He ignored the stares from the rest of the group and walked straight past them, and towards the stairs to the front door. "Where are you going?" Sam asked, slowly walking towards the stairs. 

"We're out." Dean said, as he shook the now, surprisingly, empty bottle of beer. 

"Because you drank it all." Sam muttered. 

"Go tell someone who cares, Sammy." Dean grumbled. 

"Dean, what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asked, raising his voice. 

Dean froze in his tracks, and now on the top of the stairs, turned to face Sam. "I gave everything up for you, Sam. The least you could have done was made sure I was out of the damn room." 

Sam's mouth fell open, and he quickly looked back to Cas who's eyes were now wide with guilt and fear. "Dean, I, we...I'm sorry." Sam stammered, turning back around to face his older brother. 

"It's okay, Sammy." Dean mumbled sadly, turning back around and reaching towards the door.

Suddenly, the lights in the bunker started to flicker. Dean shot around and his mind was quickly defogged, as he raced down the steps to protect his younger brother. "Get in your room, now." He ordered, as he pointed Sam into the direction of the hall.

"What?" Sam asked loudly, unaware of the situation.

"Now, Sam!" He shouted. 

Sam scanned his worried brother's face and nodded. Dean quickly turned around to look at the locked front door, before then facing Sam and quickly grabbing his forearm. "Take those 3 with you, and don't come out until I say." 

Sam made a face of confusion, a face that always reminded Dean of when he was a child. "Dean, we're not leaving you alone." Sam replied sternly. 

"Sam, this is my fight. Not yours, not anyone else's. Mine." Dean stated, matching Sam's tone of voice. 

The lights flickered once more, and a banging came from outside the door. "Cas, take him!" Dean shouted, staring at The Angel who looked back at him with a worried face. 

Cas nodded quickly, and walked up to Sam. He grabbed his forearm before shooting an apologetic look at Dean and pulled Sam away towards his room. Harley closely followed them and was trying, and failing, to look as brave as possible. However, Crowley didn't move. 

"Crowley?" Dean said, looking at him and then at the now empty corridor. 

"There is no way in hell am I leaving you with that psycho bitch." Crowley stated coolly. 

Dean stared at The Demon, and realised Crowley was absolutely adamant with staying. "Fine, but if it gets too much, I need you gone." 

"Right." Crowley lied. 

"I mean it, Crowley. I don't want to turn around and see you lying face first on the ground, after a couple rounds with the bitch." 

 "Okay, okay." Crowley muttered, raising his hands in a mock surrender. 

At that moment, Dean's sobriety started to derail and his mind was soon once again starting to fog. "Shit." Dean muttered and rubbed his head.

"What, what is it?" Crowley asked quickly.

"I shouldn't have drank that much." Dean replied quietly, with his hands now covering his face.

Crowley chuckled softly, before being rudely interrupted. The door was blown off it's hinges, causing Dean and Crowley to jump briefly before getting into stances that made them look less scared. The lights in the room flickered and in walked in the beautiful, yet insane April. "Hello, Dean."

 "Bitch." Dean smiled. 

Crowley rolled his eyes at the dramatisation, and watched as April slowly descended down the stairs.

"I'm guessing you know why I'm here." April said calmly, once she was on the last step.

"To get me back for killing you." Dean stated.

April nodded and smiled, before finally getting off the final step. "Where is everyone?" She asked, looking around.

"Who?" Dean asked.

"Castiel, your brother, the ginger nerd. You know, your family." April replied, now walking around the room, as Dean and Crowley turned to face her each time she moved.

"They're not here. They've gone." Dean said calmly.

April looked at Dean with squinted eyes and examined him for a moment, she couldn't figure out if she believed him or not. It didn't matter to her where they were, she thought, she'd be able to kill them all soon enough anyway. "We'll start with Crowley here, then."  

"Hey. This is between us." Dean said, taking a step towards April and in front of Crowley defensively. 

Crowley and April both looked at Dean with large wide eyes, as he protected The Demon. "No one is going to die because of me." Dean stated. 

April smiled and stared at Dean, as she took a step closer. "So, it's not because you're in love with him?" 

"What?" Dean choked. 

Crowley squirmed uncomfortably, and took a step back. He no longer wanted to be apart of this conversation, he knew the outcomes wouldn't be good for anyone. He wished that instead of being the loved up, brave and stupid Demon he was, that he was once again the selfish prick who only cared about himself, and would have jumped at the offer to go and hide from this Angel. As Crowley slowly took another step back, April caught sight of him. With a flick of a wrist, he was sent flying back into the staircase. He groaned and instantly disappeared into Sam's room, leaving Dean all alone. 

"Not so loyal, was he." April stated, turning back to face Dean. 

Dean tensed his jaw and wanted to punch the little smile off her face. "You killed your own kind. You can't talk about loyalty." Dean scoffed. 

"Castiel is no angel." She replied angrily.

Dean glared at The Angel, and she glared back. "I would rather just kill you right now, than have this conversation for any longer." She muttered, not taking her eyes off Dean. 

"Let's get to it, then." Dean mumbled. 

April smiled and once again flicked her wrist, also sending Dean into the staircase. "Shit." He groaned, as he rubbed his head in pain.

Dean slowly stood up and took a deep breath. He felt the power from The Mark surge through him, and this time he embraced it. Dean charged towards April and as he ran, he took the knife out of his pocket and plunged it deep into her stomach. April fell against his shoulder and screamed in pain as Dean ripped the knife out of her. Blood was pouring out over her white top, and the blood imprinted onto Dean's blue shirt. April pushed herself off Dean and screamed angrily, before punching Dean around the face. Dean tried to grab her hands, but April used her somewhat angelic powers to speed up her punches. Once she had punched Dean for the sixth time in a row, he stumbled backwards and raised his hand to his nose. Dean saw the blood drip onto his fingers, and anger quickly sped back into him. Dean growled and grabbed April by the neck. He slammed her into the table and held her down, as she laid on the table. She groaned and gasped as she tried to peel Dean's fingers away from her neck. The power running through his body felt like magic, he felt like he could do anything. It was empowering. He watched as the life drained out of April's eyes, as he gripped her neck tighter and tighter. Eventually, she stopped hitting his hands. She stopped moving. She stopped breathing. Dean peeled his hands away slowly, and looked at the dead body on his table. 

"Hm." Dean mumbled, as he noticed it was a lot easier than he thought. Than he wanted, actually. 

He turned his back to April, and started to walk away. He looked to the corridor, and saw Cas, Sam and Crowley crowded in the doorway. He smiled slightly and went to walk towards them, before a burning sensation was felt in his back. Horror was crossed on the 3 faces in front of Dean. "Dean!" They all shouted. 

Dean didn't know what was happening, but he knew something was. Pain was increasing in his back, and he no longer knew what to do. Using his hand, he reached towards where the pain was on his back. He touched his back and pain was shot through him, he removed his hand and saw the red, sticky liquid on his fingers. "What the..?" Dean mumbled, before turning around and seeing April very much alive, sitting up with a blood covered Angel Blade in her hand. A wicked smile crept onto her lips as Dean's vision started to become blurry. But Dean knew what he had to do. He had to kill April, for definite this time. He snatched the blade out of her hand and plunged it into her chest. He watched, along with the other 3 still in shock in the doorway, as her grace imploded inside of her. Dean smiled victoriously, before his adrenaline soon ran out. He turned around slowly, with his hand still on the table, helping him remain balanced. "Dean?" Sam asked, as he rushed towards his brother. 

Cas and Crowley followed him, with wide eyes. Eyes that shone with non-belief. 

"I'm okay, Sammy." Dean breathed, as he slowly sunk down to the floor, gripping onto Sam's arm as he fell. 

"Dean, come on." Sam said quickly, as he knelt down in front of him and held onto his brothers neck. 

Dean's breath quickened, and he felt the blood drip down his back and face. He looked down to his stomach and his blue shirt was now also stained red at the front. Sam followed his eye sight, and a small whimper erupted from Sam's throat. "Dean, you'll be fine. Come on." He urged, trying to lift his brother up.

"Sam, stop." Dean moaned, grabbing his younger brothers forearm. 

"What?" Sam asked, wide-eyed. 

A tear fell out of Dean's wet eyes, and down his cheek. "I'm proud of us, Sammy." 

Sam shook his head in confusion and pain. Tears filled his eyes, but he forced them still. Sam watched as Dean's eyes fell weak. "Please, Dean." 

Dean smiled slightly and allowed another tear of pain to fall out of his eye. "Take care of him." He said softly, looking towards Cas.

Cas' eyes widened more than they already were, and realisation hit him like a bullet to his gut. Dean was dying. "Dean, what's happening?" He asked fearfully. 

"I'm dying, Cas." Dean groaned in pain. 

Sam looked to the floor, and he leant on his brother. 

"No, you're not." Cas promised. 

Tears formed in Cas' eyes, as he fell to his knees beside Sam. 

"I don't have a choice, buddy." Dean replied softly. 

"Please, Dean." Cas begged quietly. He raised his hand to Dean's forehead, but was weakly hit away by Dean.

"No, Cas. Your grace." Dean muttered weakly. 

"Please don't leave me." Cas' voice cracked. 

"I don't have a choice, baby." Dean whispered, softly taking Cas' hand. 

Cas intertwined his hand with Dean's and leant down to lean his head on their hands. Dean felt a warm tear fall from Cas' eyes, onto their hands. Dean looked up to Crowley and smiled softly. Crowley nodded in return and quickly wiped away the tears that rolled down his face and nodded towards Cas. 

Dean smiled contently and rested his head back onto the table leg. His eyes slowly fell shut and he didn't feel the pain any more. He couldn't feel the pain of anything. Everything became black, and senseless. Everything turned into nothing. 

Sam felt his brothers neck lose the warmth he craved, and quickly snapped his neck up. He looked at his brothers face, and saw the nothingness that overrun it. "Dean? Open your eyes, Dean." He pleaded loudly.

"Dean!" He cried.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is long overdue, sorry! I have had a lot exams in school recently, and so I never had time.   
> Thank you to whoever is reading this, it means so much to me and I can't express how happy I am that some people are actually enjoying this. Thank you.

"Dean, I need you to wake up. Right now." Crowley urged, as he looked at Dean as he laid restless on his bed. "Dean, you're changing and we cannot let Sam see this. We need to leave. Please."

Worry and fear was struck across Crowley, he knew from the beginning of the night what was going to happen - or, what was happening. He knew Dean was turning into a demon and he needed to get himself and Dean away from the bunker, away from his family. Crowley wanted Dean away from Cas, he didn't know why but he knew Cas had hurt Dean before he turned and that wouldn't be the best thing to be first introduced to if you were a newly found demon. 

"Open your eyes, Dean. See the world I see, feel the world I feel." Crowley whispered.

Crowley looked deeply at Dean and saw slight movement come from under his eyelids. Crowley sucked in a breath, and watched as Dean's fingers now twitched. It wasn't for a moment, that Dean's eyes eventually shot open and the blackness of his new soul shone through his eyes. 

* * *

Sam was in his room, Cas was in the dungeon and Harley had gone God-knows-where. 

Sam was sitting on his bed, and the only image running through his mind was the one of Dean's eyes when he stood on the stairs and told Sam that he knew of the kiss. He looked distraught, he looked broken. And that was all his own doing, Sam thought to himself. Guilt was squirming in his gut as he thought of the kiss himself and Cas shared. Sam knew how much Dean loved Cas, and he took advantage of that by falling for Cas, too. "I'm so sorry, Dean." He whispered, as his voice cracked.

Sam held his head and muffled his sobs. He needed his brother back, he needed his big brother. He wanted to apologise for kissing Cas, he wanted to apologise for everything but he knew he couldn't, he was too late. 

 

Cas was sitting at the table in the dungeon and was thinking of the book in front of him. He didn't dare think about anything else. He didn't allow himself to think about Dean, or what had happened. Cas knew it was too much for him, and he was not ready for the amount of pain and guilt that would come of it. As he neared the end of the book, something in the back of his mind told him he had to grieve. He had to grieve, or he would forever be in denial. Cas shook it off, and finished the book. Cas sighed as he threw the book onto the pile of the other books he had read, and stood up. He walked to the bookshelf and looked distractedly for a new book, but as he grabbed one off the shelf, something fell from inside the cover onto the floor. He put the book back on the shelf before kneeling down to the floor to pick up the fallen object. With shaky hands, he picked the object up and instantly knew what it was. 

It was Dean's amulet he had gotten from Sam when they were younger. Cas stared at the amulet in his hand and felt his heart drop into his stomach. He slowly stood back up and wobbly walked back to the table for something to lean on. Once his lower back was resting against the table, he was able to look properly at the necklace. Everything, every image of Dean flooded his mind as he gripped tighter to the amulet in his hand. The necklace that Dean supposedly threw away. With his spare hand, Cas covered his mouth as a whimper escaped his throat. "Dean." He muffled. 

His legs shook violently as he sobbed into his hands, and they eventually gave away. Resulting in Cas to fall to his knees as he cried for Dean. He rested his head against his knees on the floor, as he sobbed and cried Dean's name. "Please come back to me." He repeated. 

Cas felt guilty for kissing Sam, and he felt even more guilty knowing how much it had hurt Dean. He cried and shook more violently as he thought of the pain in Dean's eyes. He wanted Dean back, he needed Dean back. He needed to tell him he loved him. 

But, at that moment there was a loud bang that came from Dean's room. Cas instantly shot up and flew to Dean's room, and saw Sam standing by Dean's bed. "Sam?" He asked, trying to hide his tears.

"He's gone." Sam whispered. 

"What?" Cas asked, confused, as he walked more into the room and saw that the bed was empty.

Sam shakily turned around to face Cas and handed him a note. They looked at each other, and both noted that they each had red, puffy eyes and their voices were as dry as sandpaper. Cas absently took the note but immediately shot up once he recognised it was Dean's handwriting.

_Please, don't look for me._

_I'm sorry._

"He's alive." Cas gulped.

 "He's alive, but missing, Cas," Sam began sadly. "We don't know where he is, why he left or even how he's alive. But we need to find him, we need to make sure he's okay." 

"He'll be fine, Sam. It's Dean." Cas said reassuringly, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.

They both looked at the hand awkwardly and felt as if Cas' hand should have been anywhere else other than on Sam's shoulder. Neither knew why, but the guilt screaming in their guts gave them a clue. Cas slowly removed his hand and placed it into his coat pocket. "We should leave." Cas noted.

Sam nodded and they both quickly made their way out of Dean's room, but before they exited the bunker entirely, Sam grabbed his phone and laptop to help track Dean. But once they were outside, they realised Dean's car was the only suitable mode of transport. They didn't feel like hot wiring Bobby's truck, or Charlie's car.

"My car. It's back at the motel, I can take us there." Cas said quickly.

 "Cas, you need to save your grace." Sam said worryingly. 

"I have enough." Cas nodded. 

Cas raised his hand to Sam, before Sam slowly grabbed his hand and pushed it away. "No, Cas. You might need your grace for later." 

"Then how else do you suggest we find Dean?" Cas asked, both hands now resting at his sides. 

"Crowley, or even Harley?" He asked. 

"Sam. How do you think Dean got out of the bunker without us realising?" Cas' head tilted to the side as he spoke. 

"Crowley." Sam said under his breath.

"Yes, and Harley is, well, Harley." Cas shrugged. 

"I'll call Harley." Sam replied, ignoring Cas' statement and taking out his phone. 

Cas rolled his eyes mockingly and watched Sam intently as he waited for Harley to answer. 

Eventually, the call was soon picked up. 

"Hello?" Harley replied. 

"Harley, it's Sam." Sam replied, looking down to the floor. 

"Oh, Sam. Hey. I'm sorry about taking off, I just thought you two needed some alone time." She replied sadly.

"No, it's fine. That's kinda why I'm ringing, Dean's not dead." Sam said. 

"What?" Harley asked, very confused. 

Sam sighed and used his spare hand to rub his left temple. "We don't know exactly, but he woke up and now he's gone." 

"Gone, what do you mean as in _gone_?" She asked loudly. 

"He's gone, like Dean has managed to get out of the bunker, take his car and disappear." Sam said quickly. 

"Oh, my God." She sighed. 

"So, wanna help us?" Sam asked. 

"Fine, but only because I want to know what the hell happened. Where are you?" Harley sighed, clearly very confused and frustrated.

"At the bunker. You got a car?" Sam chuckled dryly. 

"Yeah, give me 20." She replied before ending the call.

Sam put his phone back into his pocket, and smiled at Cas. "She's coming." 

Cas smiled back, before sighing and looking down towards the floor. 

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, nearing towards Cas.

"I thought he was dead." Cas replied quietly. 

Sam looked worriedly at him, and put his hand on Cas' shoulder. "Hey, we know he's not now. It'll be fine." 

"It wont be fine, Sam. I thought he was dead. Everything inside me was aching, every part of me was burning. The only memory he had of me before he died was breaking his heart. I didn't want to live with that, Sam. It broke me. It broke me as I've never broken before, I didn't know how to cope. But now he's alive, and everything will supposedly go back to normal, but I don't think I can. He came back to life, and he ran away from us. He ran and left us a note not to look for him." Cas replied emotionally, as tears filled his eyes.

Sam watched with a breaking heart as he saw tears fall from Cas' eyes, he didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to console him, he didn't know how to console a breaking heart. He listened as Cas spoke of how Dean had left them, and that was Sam's breaking point. He launched forwards and wrapped his arms around Cas' shoulders, as he pulled him into a tight hug. Cas sobbed into Sam's chest, and finally allowed himself to have someone console him.

* * *

"So, what the hell happened?" Harley asked, as she drove.

Cas was sitting in the middle seat, as Sam sat in the front with Harley.

"We were by ourselves for a few hours, and I wanted to go check on Dean. Just to say goodbye, but when I got there, he was gone. He had left a note, telling us not look for him." Sam said quietly, looking out of the window.

"And we're looking for him, why?" Harley asked, looking back to Sam and then the road.

"Because I watched him die, and now all of a sudden he's alive again?" Sam said, looking to Harley quickly.

Harley looked at Sam and smiled sincerely. "Are you okay?"

Sam shook his head slowly. "No, I don't think any of us are."

Harley looked back to the road and nodded. She couldn't explain what she was feeling, but she knew it was something. When she saw Sam carry Dean's body into his room, she fell to the floor. She looked at Dean as he laid lifeless in his brother's arm, and she felt as if a part of her had died, too. She didn't know why. She had only known him for a day, and yet she felt as if she had known him forever. She saw herself in the Winchester, and she felt as if she could trust him with her world. Harley felt as if she was imposing on their grieving, and decided it was best for her to leave, even though what she wanted most, was for someone to care for her, too.

"I figure Crowley is with him." Harley said, somewhat changing the subject.

"Yeah, we think so." Sam nodded, looking back out of the window.

"Well, have you tracked him yet?" She asked.

Sam looked down to his laptop on his lap, and sighed. "5 more minutes."

"Do you think he'll want to see us?" Cas asked, from the back.

"He hasn't got a choice." Sam muttered.

 Harley scoffed cheerfully. "Radio?" 

Sam nodded and Cas hummed in content, and Harley put the radio on. 

_I loved, and I loved and I lost you; and it hurts like hell._

_Yeah, it hurts like hell._

Harley was pretty sure she had never changed a radio station so quick in her life. Her head shot back to Castiel in the back and saw he was on his phone, completely unaware of the situation. Sam was also looking worriedly back to Cas to make sure he was okay, and was not having a panic attack over Dean. Once they were certain he was okay, they both turned back around and faced the front. "That was close." Harley sighed quietly.

"Yeah." Sam replied quietly. 

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Harley whispered, as she stared at the empty road in front of them.

"I'm not sure. When I saw Jess die, I never really got over it. I'm still not over it, but it doesn't hurt as much any more. But, because Dean is actually alive, it's different. But watching the person you love die, it stays with you." Sam replied, looking at his laptop distractedly. 

"Right." Harley said quietly.

Sam looked up from his laptop and looked at Harley. "What's wrong?" Sam asked worriedly.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She said, smiling.

"I have Dean for a brother, I know a fake smile when I see one. What is it?" He said, turning in his seat to properly face Harley. 

"I shouldn't be feeling like this. I don't even know him." She whispered, carefully trying to avoid Cas' attention. 

Sam stared at her, but shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in confusion.

"I may have feelings for Dean." She whispered, clearly embarrassed, as she watched the road ahead.

Sam blinked repeatedly for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and turning in his seat to sit normally. He looked at the road and then back to Harley, and then back to the road again. His head turned back to Harley, and as quiet as ever, he said, "Dean? Like, my brother Dean?"

Harley laughed. "Yes, Dean."

"First Cas, then Crowley and now you. It's clearly not his looks." He joked.

Harley laughed, and then turned quickly to look at Cas. However, she expected Cas to be buried in his phone, once again. But, unfortunately for her, Cas was sitting up and staring right at her, with daggers for eyes. His once blue, calm eyes were now sharp and definitely not calming, as they sent shivers down Harley's back as she continued to stare at him. Eventually, it got too much for her and she cleared her throat before turning back around and continued to silently drive.

Sam's laptop then, fortunately, made an alert noise. He sighed happily and looked down to it. "Got him."

Harley smiled. "Where is he?"

"At a bar. Just carry on going straight." Sam rushed.

* * *

Once they had finally found the bar, they had to double check that it was the right location. They realised it was, and decided to get out of the car and make their way into the building. The building, from the outside, looked like it had just recently been renovated as some window were boarded up - whether it was recent or not. The car park was also empty, excluding Harley's car, Dean's car was also not there. Cas and Harley looked carefully around the parking lot, as they walked to the entrance of the building. There were steps leading to the door, and they all quietly crept up them, hoping not to make any sudden noises or movements. The door was slightly ajar, and nerves were erupting through the 3 as Sam slowly and quietly pushed open the door. 

Sam pushed the door all the way open, and the 3 walked into the bar. The bar was empty, and music was playing from the jukebox which sat in the corner of the room. The room was also dimly lit and the 3 had to slightly squint their eyes to look around, but the anxiety inside of them made it hard for them to concentrate.

"I don't think he's here." Sam said quietly, as he walked around the room.

"Me neither." Cas answered, walking towards Sam.

Sam smiled sadly, and looked down to the floor. He sighed, and just wished he was back at the bunker, with Dean safely in his bed down the hall. Cas supportively put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "We'll find him, Sam." 

Sam looked up to The Angel and smiled. "Thanks, Cas." 

The air around them became thick and hot, as they stood close, touching. The guilt inside Cas was increasing, but he didn't know what to do - nor did he want to stop. The grip on Sam's shoulder became tighter, and Sam's pupils dilated as they stared at each other. 

"Uh, guys." Harley whispered quickly.

Sam and Cas quickly spun around to face Harley, who was backing away into a corner. 

"Harley?" Sam asked, taking a step towards her.

"Turn around." She grumbled, as she stared behind Sam.

The 2 men quickly, and defensively turned around. They saw a man, standing on a platform a few metres away from them, who was staring at the 2 men. 

"Dean?" Sam asked softly, stepping forward. 

The man took a step towards the light, and revealed himself to be Dean. A very angry looking Dean. "What are you doing here?" He quietly growled. 

"We've come to take you home, Dean." Sam said calmly, as if he was talking to a child.

Dean took another step towards them and smiled slyly. "This is my home." 

He carried on walking towards them and they all nervously braced themselves for what was coming. "Dean, what happened to you?" Harley asked. 

Dean stopped walking as he reached the end of the platform and stared at Harley. "I died." 

"Yeah, we saw that." Sam replied quietly.

Dean's eyes slowly fell from Harley to Sam, and he felt the anger inside him grow. He took a deep breath and stepped off the platform, he took a few steps and he was soon standing directly in front of his younger brother. "Hello, Sammy." He said with a smile, as he revealed his new black, soulless eyes. 

Sam's mouth fell open sightly as he stared into his brother's eyes. His brother was a demon. A demon, something they were brought up to kill. Everyone in the room fell silent as Dean stayed staring at his brother with his black eyes. 

Cas could feel something in his chest painfully erupting, yet he didn't know what it was. At first when he saw Dean he couldn't breath, he was elated and he was so glad to see Dean, alive. But now, as he saw Dean's reformed soul, the only thing he felt was grief and pain again. Cas could only picture Dean dying in front of him once more, and it broke him. "It's the mark. It kept you alive." Cas whispered sadly. 

Dean turned to face Cas, who was standing next to Sam, and his eyes flickered from black back to his old green eyes. Emotion was struck in his eyes as he stared at Cas, Dean felt something and he quickly threw it into the back of his mind and even though his eyes remained green, they returned to their cold and empty demeanour. "Bingo. The mark brought me back." Dean said with a smile.

"Dean, let's go home and sort this out." Sam said softly. 

"No." Dean said, not taking his eyes off Cas.

"What, why?" Sam asked, confused.

"Because I've moved on, Sammy. I'm happy now." Dean replied. The words struck a chord within Cas, he didn't want Dean to move on. He wanted to be happy, yes, but happy with him. Happy with his family.

Sam scoffed angrily. "What the hell, Dean? We saw you die and now all of a sudden, you're a demon and back alive? You didn't even tell us, Dean! You left a damn note."

Dean turned back to Sam, and angrily took a step towards him and they were now standing nose to nose.

Sam and Dean had, mentally and emotionally, been through a lot together in the past few days and they had been standing on each others toes way too much, too. But, this was the last straw. Every fibre in Sam's being was telling him to swing at his brother and knock some sense, or his soul, back into him. So that's what he tried to do. Sam swung and his fist landed squarely on Dean's cheek. Dean took a few steps back in surprise, and rubbed his cheek as he looked at his brother with a sly, sickly smile. He launched forwards and punched Sam in the stomach, as he held Sam's forearm with his spare arm.

"Dean!" Cas shouted, slightly alarmed, as he stood in the background.

Dean punched Sam once again in the stomach, before throwing him onto the ground. Sam grunted in pain and held his stomach tight, but he didn't have enough time to get off the floor, before Dean kicked him in his ribs.

Dean kicked him again, and again, and again. Cas and Harley rushed to them in a panic, and tried their hardest to pull Dean away from his brother, but they weren't strong enough. Dean kicked Sam once more in the stomach before Sam coughed and spluttered out blood, as he tried to move out of the way of Dean.

"Stop!" Cas boomed, his voice echoed and was as loud as they had ever heard Cas' voice go. Everyone in the room suddenly stopped what they were doing, and jumped at the terrifying voice.

Dean jumped back and looked suddenly towards Cas. Cas was now kneeling down towards Sam, as he lay in pain on the ground. Cas was stroking his hair out of Sam's face, hushing him quiet as he healed him. As Dean looked at the two, he saw something between them. Something electrifying, something intimate. Dean's eyes slowly moved from Cas and to Sam. He saw his brother, the boy he had basically raised, and saw what he had done. He saw what he had become. "Sammy?" He whispered, broken.

Everyone's eyes fell onto Dean, as he stared brokenly at his brother. His little brother. "What have I done? Oh, god. Sam, I'm sorry." He rushed in a panic.

Sam, now nearly healed and with the help of Cas, stood up. "It's not your fault, Dean. It's okay." Sam replied softly, he put a hand across his stomach and the other on Dean's shoulder.

A tear silently fell out of Dean's eye as he looked at Sam. "I'm sorry." 

Sam shook his head in confusion slightly, before Dean backed away from them all. He turned around from them all and walked towards the back door, in which he came in. 

"Dean?" Sam asked, as he walked away.

Dean ignored him and carried on walking. He closed his eyes, forcing the tears at bay, until he was quickly spun back around. He looked and saw Cas' hand on his shoulder, with wide and scared eyes. "Where are you going, Dean?" Cas asked quickly.

They were standing near the platform and Dean wanted nothing more than to just leave the building. But Cas' grip on his shoulder was too strong for him to peel himself away. "I'm going." He replied bluntly. 

"Where?" Cas asked. 

"Away from here." Dean replied, looking into Cas' eyes. 

"Dean, come home." Cas said calmly. He looked into Dean's eyes, and saw something. He didn't know what it was, nor could he work it out, but Cas definitely saw something in Dean's soulless eyes.

"You go home, Cas. Take them with you and just go home." Dean sighed restlessly. 

"I'm not going without you, Dean." Cas replied sadly.

Dean froze and looked deeply into Cas' eyes. He could see tears brimming in his eyes, and he didn't want that. He didn't want Cas to cry. He couldn't feel anything, perks of having no soul and all, but something deep down inside him just wanted to hug Cas until all the sadness within him disappeared. "You have to, Cas." 

Cas looked at Dean's face, and saw his answer was definite. He frowned sadly, and removed his hand from Dean's shoulder. His arm fell slowly down to his side, and it felt bare. 

"You're happier without me, Cas. You all are." Dean said sternly, as he stood up straight and made himself seem powerful.

"No, we're not. I'm not." Cas replied desperately.

"You are, Cas. I see the way you look at each other. You both deserve to be happy, and if I'm around, you wont be." Dean spoke blandly. 

"Dean, there is nothing between me and Sam. Come home with us and we can sort everything out. We can get you back to normal." Cas said calmly.

Anger rose in Dean once more, and he took a step back away from Cas. 

"Dean?" Cas asked worriedly. 

"Stay back, man." Dean said, trying to consume the anger in him.

Sam saw the same look in Dean's eyes then as they were right before they fought. He quickly rushed towards Cas, and pulled him back to safety behind him. 

But seeing this, just increased the anger within Dean. Sam pushed Cas behind him further, and slowly backed away. Dean's breathing deepened and increased as he watched the two back away together. He clenched his fist, before slowly releasing it. 

"Dean?" Cas asked calmly.

But, that didn't calm him down. In fact, it did the opposite. His anger inside him exploded, and he charged towards the two. But before he reached them, he was pushed back. He flew all the way into the wall on the other side of the room. He quickly jumped up, revealing a very angry scowl and black eyes to whoever pushed him. Dean saw a very, surprisingly, angry looking Crowley guarding Sam and Cas.

"What are you doing?" Dean growled.

"Protecting your bloody friends, apparently." Crowley grumbled. 

"Why?" Dean asked angrily, walking up to Crowley.

 "Because the first people you kill, should never be your friends." Crowley lectured.

Dean looked at him with a blank, yet confused expression. "Are we gonna leave or what?" He eventually asked.

"Fine." Crowley sighed.

He moved away from Sam and Cas, and walked up to Dean's side. The 3 left were looking very confused and worried, as they watched Dean. "You're going with him?" Sam asked loudly.

Dean looked back to his brother, and nodded. "Yeah, I am."

"Why him?" Cas asked, his voice cracked.

Dean's eyes softened as he looked at the broke expression on Cas' face. "I don't have a choice, man." 

"Yes, you do." Cas said, taking a step forward.

"No, I don't." Dean sighed, getting bored of the conversation.

"Come on, Dean." Crowley said quietly.

Dean nodded, and they both turned around. They climbed up onto the platform and headed for the back door. Cas knew they were running out of time, but he didn't know how to stop him. Once Crowley's hand was on the door handle, Cas panicked and did the first thing that came into mind. 

"Dean, stop. I love you!" Cas shouted.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for it being so long since I last updated! I will try and get another chapter up by the end of this month.   
> I really hope you all enjoy this chapter, and the rest of the story for that matter!   
> Thank you for sticking around! X

Everyone froze. No one moved, no one breathed. All except Cas. His breathing was all over the place and his heart was somewhat ready to fall out of his chest, he had never felt as nervous or scared as he did in that moment. 

Dean slowly turned around to face Cas with big, shocked and scared eyes. "What?" He asked quietly.

Now, considering everybody in the room either had feelings for Cas or Dean, the atmosphere had quickly turned into an awkward and broken one. Sam felt as if he was being punched in the stomach and kicked in ribs all over again, Crowley was scared that Dean would choose Cas over him once again, and Harley was just confused; she had only just come to terms with liking Dean and now that she realised she wasn't the only one, she knew she never had a chance.

"I'm in love with you, Dean." Cas said, standing up straight.

Dean stared at Cas, not knowing what to say. Instead of saying anything, a small little whimper escaped from his throat. 

"Dean?" Crowley asked, putting his arm on Dean's forearm.

Dean turned his head to look at Crowley. "Yeah?" He croaked.

"Are we going or not?" Crowley asked softly.

Dean turned back to look at Cas, and saw him looking back at him with big, sad, blue eyes. But, Dean told himself he didn't or couldn't feel anything any more. "Yeah." He murmured, before turning back around to Crowley and walking alongside him out of the building. 

Cas stared at the door as it closed, and felt everything around him fall apart. He had lost Dean, again. He had watched him leave his life, again. Cas tensed his jaw and closed his eyes to force the tears at bay. He didn't want to cry again, he wasn't going to cry again. 

"You okay, man?" Sam asked quietly.

"I'm fine." Cas replied blandly, still staring at the door. 

"I'm sorry, Castiel." Harley whispered, walking towards him.

Cas nodded distractedly. Harley was now directly behind him, and placed her hand on his back for support. But the touch felt cold to The Angel. 

"Let's go home, buddy." Sam said softly.

Cas immediately turned to his right to look at Sam. "We can't leave yet."

"Why?" Sam asked confused.

"We need to wait to see if he comes back." Cas said, hopefully. 

"Cas, he's not coming back." Harley answered.

"No, he's right." Sam spat out. 

"What, you too?" Harley asked, noticing both of their optimistic views.

"Dean's my brother. He wouldn't just leave me." Sam finalised.

Cas smiled slightly, and himself and Sam walked over to the bar and sat on the stools, awaiting Dean's return. Harley stood at the back, completely flabbergasted. She didn't know how or why they were being so optimistic. Dean was a demon now, he didn't feel anything for anyone, nor did he care for anyone but himself. 

* * *

2 hours passed and there was still no sign of Dean returning.

4 hours passed.

6 hours passed.

8 hours passed and there was still no sign of Dean.

"Sam, we've waited long enough. Don't you think?" Harley asked downing another shot of whiskey.

Sam sighed and rested his head on his crossed arms. He realized a couple of hours before that Dean wasn't coming, he just wanted to remain hopeful for his brothers return. But it was obvious at that point that Dean wasn't coming back. Sam sat up and rubbed his face before muttering, "yeah." 

"No, he's coming." Cas said loudly, turning in his seat to face Harley and Sam.

Sam looked down to his hands sadly. "I don't think he is, Cas." 

"But he has to?" Cas pleaded.

Sam stared at him, telling him to continue. 

"He can't give up on his family, Sam. It's not Dean. He wouldn't just give up on me - Us. I mean us." Cas spat out quickly as a red blush tainted his cheeks. 

Harley and Sam then realized what was going on, Cas was heart broken that his love wasn't reciprocated. "Cas, he loves you." Harley said quietly, standing up and walking next to where Cas sat. 

"No, he doesn't." Cas whispered.

"Yes, he did; and he still does." Sam spoke.

"Then why did he leave me?" Cas' voice cracked.

Harley gasped at Cas' words and threw herself over him in a hug. Cas was taken aback at first, but soon hugged her back and tears subconsciously fell down his cheeks. He pushed his head further into the crook of the woman's neck and cried silently. "It's okay." Harley repeated soothingly, as she rubbed the back of his neck.

Seeing this broke Sam's heart. He threw his remaining whiskey down his throat and rubbed his eyes. He didn't want to see Cas so upset, he didn't want his brother to be the cause of Cas' broken heart. He angrily stood up and walked out towards the door of the room.

"Where are you going?" Harley asked, still hugging Cas though they were both looking at Sam with worried expressions.

"I'm ringing Crowley. Stay here." Sam replied quickly, before turning back around and walking out of the bar. 

Once he was outside, he got out his phone and dialed Crowley's number. He angrily awaited for the call to be picked up, and he grew repelled by the constant ringing tones. Eventually, Crowley answered the call.

"Hello, Moose." Crowley answered, bored.

"Where's my brother?" He asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." Crowley scoffed.

Worry grew in Sam's stomach. "What?"

"As soon as we left you, he ran off." He tutted. 

Sam tensed his jaw anxiously. "Why didn't you come back and tell us?"

Crowley chuckled dryly. "I though he went back to you."

"Well, he didn't." Sam replied angrily. 

"I figured that." Replied Crowley.

Sam sighed angrily and ended the call, before quickly putting his phone back into his pocket. He rubbed his face before turning back and walking into the bar. Once he was inside, he saw Cas and Harley putting their coats on miserably. "Did you find him?" Cas asked hopefully, once he saw Sam.

"Uh, no, I'm sorry. He left Crowley." Sam muttered.

"Oh." Cas mumbled. 

Harley rubbed his back reassuringly, before walking alongside each other towards Sam, and the door. As soon as they were all stood outside, it started to rain. It was slow at first, but then the raindrops started to fall harder and quicker. They sped up towards the car to shelter themselves from the rain, but they were already soaked by the time they reached it. But, just before Cas got into the car, he felt something. He felt something inside of him telling him to turn around. He listened to his gut and turned around from the car, he saw something. A shadow.

The rain was falling in his eyes, and was making it hard for Cas to focus on the shadow, but it was near the door of the building, as if someone was in there watching them.

"Hey, Cas. Come on." Sam said loudly, as he quickly opened his door to Cas.

Cas quickly shot back around to face Sam, and his mind quietened from the thoughts of what was going on as they looked into each others eyes. "I'm coming."  He muttered softly.

Sam nodded, blushing, and closed his door and rubbed his hands to warm them up from the cold rain. Cas turned back around to face the shadow once more, and noticed it had gone. He squinted his eyes in confusion, before turning around and opening his door before getting in.

"Cas, you're soaked!" Harley squealed, as she turned around to face him.

It was then that Cas realized that he had stood outside in the pouring rain just because he thought he saw a shadow. He sighed. "I thought I saw something."

Sam looked to Cas with worried eyes. "Saw what?"

"Just a shadow." Cas replied quietly, looking down to his wet hands.

"Take your coat off." Sam instructed, ignoring what Cas had said.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Take your coat off, it's soaked. I'll give you mine to warm you up." Sam replied.

Cas nodded and smiled at him, as he removed his uncomfortable coat and watched as Sam removed his own. Sam then passed Cas his, and Cas put it on. Both the people in the front laughed at Cas as the coat miniaturized him.

He looked down to the coat and chuckled to himself as it blanketed him, but it was too comfortable and warm for him to remove it. The coat smelt like Sam and the scent filled his nose, which sent shivers down Cas' spine. His cheeks reddened, and his eyes flickered up to Sam's.

"You okay, man?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine." Cas replied embarrassed.

Harley snorted, as she realized what was going on and turned around in her seat to face the front. Both men watched her as she started the car and started to drive. "Knock it off, boys." She laughed.

Sam and Cas both tore their eyes away from Harley and looked out of their windows at the rain.

The rain calmed them all from the tiring and very stressful day. It splashed on the windows and the droplets raced down to the bottom of their windows as the rain quickened. The wind slammed against the car, and the sky darkened. The car ride was a very quiet one as they all listened to the rain. No one wanted to disrupt the calming silence, but something in the back of their minds was warning them that something was coming, something was happening. They all looked as the sun started to disappear behind the hills in front of them, and all their eyes became heavy. Even Cas was in the need of a good 8 hour sleep.

"You are welcome to stay at our place, Harley." Sam yawned.

"Thanks, but I have somewhere to be in a few hours." She replied gracefully.

"Are you sure?" Sam asked.

Harley nodded, smiling. "Thank you, though."

Sam smiled back at her, and then turned back to look out of his window. They weren't far from the bunker, but the ride felt as if it was the longest car journey they had all been on. They had all experienced a couple of crazy days, and they were exhausted. They were mentally and physically exhausted.

"We're here." Harley yawned, after another few minutes of silence.

"Thank you, Harley. You can come round whenever you like." Sam said happily, as he unbuckled himself.

"Thank you." She smiled.

Cas rubbed her shoulder from behind, in his way of saying thank you. Harley smiled cheerfully back at him, and watched as the two men got out of her car.

Once they were both out, Sam tapped on the roof of the car and they watched as Harley drove away. As soon as Harley was far enough, they decided to walk into the bunker. They were cold and wet, and they just wanted to sleep. Cas dawdled into the bunker behind Sam, as he was blanketed by Sam's coat and held his own soaking one in his hand. Sam kept looking back to Cas, and he adored him. Sam couldn't help but watch Cas as his eyes fell drowsily, and as he rubbed his eyes slowly with the long sleeve of Sam's coat that hung off him. Cas was too tired to even notice Sam staring at him every time he turned around, but he could feel it. He could feel Sam's eyes burning into his sole, and it was enticing. But, he didn't know if he enjoyed it. He didn't know if it was just because he was tired, that he wanted it to stop - or, because it was the wrong brother. Thinking of Dean brought a pain into his chest, a pain that erupted throughout his whole body.

Sam, noticing Cas' sudden change in demeanor, asked, "Cas, what's wrong?"

Sam had stopped walking down the stairs and turned around to face Cas, as they both stood still on the stairs. Cas stared at Sam with a shocked face, but didn't know how to reply.

"Cas?" Sam asked again.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." Cas yawned forcefully.

"Is it Dean?" Sam asked quietly.

Cas looked down to his feet and nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry, man. I really am. He did love you, he does love you, he just needs to realize it once again." Sam replied, putting his hand on Cas' shoulder to support his friend.

"Thank you, Sam." Cas smiled sadly, looking up to his friend, who still towered him as he stood on the step beneath him.

Sam smiled back, before turning around and carried on walking down the stairs. They soon reached the main room, and sat down at the table. The only thing running through Cas' mind was Dean, somewhere alone in the dark. It had stopped raining before they reached the bunker, but Cas still worried for Dean's warmth and safety, regardless if he was a demon or not.

"He'll be okay, it's Dean." Sam chuckled.

Cas looked shocked at Sam, confused as he wondered if Sam could read his thoughts.

"It's written all over your face, man." Sam chuckled once more.

"Oh." Cas replied quietly, embarrassed.

Sam laughed, but then yawned. "I'm gonna turn in. You can stay in Dean's room, if you want." Sam said distractedly, as he stood up.

Cas looked up to Sam with wide, puppy eyes. "I have my own room?"

"Well, yeah, but if you start to miss Dean, then you can go in there. He wouldn't mind." Sam smiled.

"Oh, thank you." Cas replied quietly, looking down to his hands.

Sam tapped the table awkwardly, before turning on his heel and walking towards his room. He didn't want the image of Cas sleeping in Dean's bed running through his mind any longer, but he knew Cas was missing Dean and he would do anything just to numb the pain his friend felt. Once Sam was in his room, he fell face first onto his bed and groaned. He hated having feelings for Cas, but he couldn't stop them. He hated having feelings for the person his brother loved since the moment they met. Dean had always loved Cas, ever since they met and now Sam felt as if he had betrayed his brother by not only falling for Cas, too, but being the first to kiss him. Sam missed his brother, he missed the person who had raised him, he missed having his older brother to talk to about things that mattered to both of them. He just missed Dean.

* * *

 It started to rain again, and Dean was once again soaked. He sighed, and turned his collar up to his neck, to shield from the cold. He didn't know why he had ran from Crowley, he just knew that he had to. Something inside of him was telling him that it was the right thing to do, and before he could even think about it, he was back at the bunker, away from everyone.

Dean was now sitting outside the bunker as it rained, and it took everything in him to stop himself from going in. He saw Harley drop Sam and Cas off at the bunker and wanted to follow them in but he knew he couldn't. Cas' words rang through Dean's head as he sat on the wall, looking up at the stars.

_"I love you!"_

Dean smiled to himself as he thought of Cas, he thought of everything they had been through and everything that had led to this moment. But, something was telling him that Cas had only said it to try and convince him to come home - though, it worked. Dean's head fell into his hands and he groaned internally, as he thought of what he had done. How he had beaten up his brother, how he nearly tried to do the same to Cas and how he ran away from him when he expressed his feelings.

"I'm an idiot." He groaned to himself.

"I agree." Said a voice softly.

Dean shot up, and saw a beautiful woman. A woman so beautiful that light radiated off her. She didn't look like anyone else from this world, yet Dean knew who she was instantly.

"Mom?" He teared up.

"Hello, Dean." She smiled.

Dean stood up slowly in disbelief, and walked towards his mother. He reached towards her with a shaking hand, yet he couldn't reach her. He couldn't touch her. "You're not really here." Dean admitted sadly.

"No." Mary said slowly.

"I miss you, mom." Dean choked, now standing as close as he could to her.

Her face, her hair, everything about her was just how Dean remembered her, yet she seemed more at peace and calm now.

"I miss you, too, Dean. But I need you to take care of Sammy." His mom replied.

"I have, mom. I promise." Dean spat out.

"I know you have. But, I need you to now. Your brother needs you, Dean, and I know you need him just as much. You can come back from this, Dean." She answered calmly.

Tears filled his eyes, "I don't know how."

"You know how to fix this, you saw it happen with Crowley." Mary stepped closer towards her son, and the light reflected in Dean's soulless eyes.

Dean thought for a moment, before the memories came flooding back to him. He remembered stopping Sam from killing himself that night, he remembered his selfless brother willing to kill himself to save the world. He remembered the curing ritual. "I love you, mom."

She smiled angelically back at him. "I love you, Dean."

Dean smiled, with tears brimming in his eyes and watched as his mother disappeared right before him. He closed his eyes and sighed sadly, as he tried to calm himself. Dean thought of his mother for a few moments, before wiping his eyes and walking towards the door of the bunker.


End file.
